Also discovered Life Unexpected brand-new for $12.50. I have to buy it, right? Because that is a great deal and neither of my local library systems own it and all my episodes are locked up on the dead computer. I miss bouncing through my favorite scenes.
Because I found my Eric/Lux EP playlist and now I can't stop listening to "Undiscovered" and oh my god this ship made me so happy. Two years later I have finally curbed my desire to hook them back up in the here and now, mostly, but those time-locked memories are sheer magic. [pause while I prowl YouTube and get lost on Tumblr for a while...] And who knows, if I own it, maybe one day I will watch season 1! Or at least finish all the scenes of season 2 that Lux isn't in.
Turns out today will not be the day I quit obsessing about
And I will do it with eight thousand links to let Future Me relive it.
(this is going to be one of those posts I regret in the morning, isn't it?)
I spent most of today running wild and directionless throughout the vast territory of the fandom, scraping and pillaging for as much gold as I could find. It started with me punching 87 keyword combinations into YouTube last night in an attempt to find the Maeve scenes without having to go through entire episodes again - largely successful, although I eventually had to give up and go watch 8x04 to get their first conversations. (side note, my love for Alex Blake just keeps growing my leaps and bounds. She and Reid have pretty much the best dynamic of any team pairing so far)
Shipping more fervently by the hour, incidentally. I barely recognize this stranger on my blog not being gutted by her death a week ago.
Then I found this Tumblr to serve what appears to be all my needs for the time being. Want to reblog ALL THE THINGS! (I should give in and create a sub-account for all my non-Glee fandoms. I think I need one at this point.) In the meantime, will settle for catching up on ALL THE ARTICLES. So many things I don't know! (STOP IT. We are not adding actor love on top of the character, OTP-level shipping was bad enough. It's just, I do remember seeing him with a cane at one point, and it's nice to have an explanation. I may not have watched this show, but I've been inundated with previews since its inception thanks to my tendency to live on CBS).
Oops, too late. Found this TV Guide one regarding 8x10 - which, incidentally, I've now decided is my favorite episode of the series - and if he responsible for directing it then too late, I am gone, because even I noticed like twenty-seven amazing things I now realize I can attribute to the director.
This morning I went back to look at these pictures, my inability to wait one second longer for the continuation/resolution of this angst arc having officially stretched me to the breaking point, and discovered "WAIT WAIT WAIT. Criminal Minds is one of those magic shows that airs earlier in Canada??" I haven't had one of those since Bones, oh glory day! Well, that wasted my morning. And by wasted, I mean improved my whole day. But I'll put that in a separate cut.
Next on my unstoppable tour: all the fic!
Immediate reaction: Ugh, argh, argh, I forgot what an insane amount of slash this fandom harbors. Then again, turns out ALL THE INTER-TEAM SHIPPING IS GROSS. Eight years of strict canon boundaries means any suggestion of two team members together is like an incest ship across my eyeballs. (Morgan/Garcia = possible exception, but it's also such a cerebral attraction to me I don't think I could -- NOPE, EW, my brain just got super angry at being forced to produce even the most chaste non-platonic scenario with them. Hiss! Outside citizens only need apply.)
Then I got serious about repeating my twice-a-day search for suitable alternate-ending 8x12 fic, because I spent at least two extremely unsatisfying hours last night trying to stitch up my own (AWFUL IDEA ALERT). Everything just kept coming out completely generic and cliche because I have no idea how to write a character like him.
I managed to kick up this, which is more of just a brief coda, with a 1-year-later epilogue: Legacy.
[7 PM edit: I freely admit that I thought it was nice but didn't really connect with the second part at first. Rereading it just now, it hit me with gale force strength - "She taught you how to love. Don't let those lessons go to waste." Bam, future shipping ability referenced below totally cured.]
My response after this was half a smile and half D: "NOPE MY SHIPPING ABILITIES ARE DEAD AND GONE." More with every passing day, fandom's rage fit starts to make sense.. My brain shuts down at the notion of any future girlfriends because how can any of them possibly be a better match? Three episodes and she got me in one; that is unreal character tailoring. This is the end of the line; I can retreat comfortingly into time-locked and alternate-future options, but I can't move forward in this one. Only one option gets my heart.
Five minutes later: "Well, that was quick."
I went back to TheKnittingLady's page in search of more substantial Spencer/Maeve fic, and instead fell down a whole new rabbit hole with 22-chapter Clockwork.
Summary: Wrong place, wrong time, right girl. A killer brought them together, now he must choose between his life and her world, and her world feels so very right...
Or, early-2012 Reid/OFC amidst a delicious psychological mess of abduction, captivity and control. This is not my first rodeo with the scenario, either, so I particularly appreciate that this one also focuses on the recovery, because I have at least two fics from...another fandom...to go apply those principles to now.
It's rated M, but with fanfiction.net restrictions on explicitness so I read every word and am magically no worse for the wear. It's deliberately confusing and disorienting as it begins, but trust the story to unfold and explain everything; you can put it back together in chronological order later. I haven't gotten this attached to an original character in fanfic in a LONG time; I suspect it was because her whole mindset was basically me. Meanwhile, the story filled about nine different specialized niches in my victim-fic checklist, so there's that. I am having a blast with this finding-treasure-instantly stuff.
BUT WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE. "Reid Bully Fics?"
Well, hello there, useful comm + pleasant little pile of recs to comb through. I swear I did not key up this search! All I was trying to find was the URL for the YouTube clip of 3x16. It's not my fault if the internet dumps appealing things in my lap. I've just skimmed a couple so far but I am liking this handle people have on what seems to be a specialized character.
And Finally: YouTube Bound
This evening, having reached shipping capacity and temporarily short-circuited that portion of my brain, I started hunting down other things I'd seen referenced, such as a tale or two of genuine high school bullying (none of which apparently make sense given the supposed timeline for what age he was in high school, but willful ignorance!) and "I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend."
(that one may have derailed me for a good half hour. I WONDER HOW I CAN USE THAT IMAGERY. Particularly with the aid of the subdued canon version! Oh, and what's that, is that a recurring theme I can juxtapose with 8x12? "I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.")
Which leads us to guilt-angst, a/k/a "two for the price of one angst" (does any member of this team not get whacked around on a regular basis? Has anyone statistically graphed all their injuries and dead loved ones, both on the job and pre-series? Although this is a post sort of relevant to this), and I'm pretty sure I can use this too. I get the sense I'm barely scratching the surface in terms of all the Stuff I Have Yet To Find.
And OK, the new episode is airing on TV now, so we can chat about it.
Criminal Minds, 8x13, "Magnum Opus"
Case: A deranged artist paints in blood. Done with that aspect now. This show has literally never been about the characters for me and now they're all that matter, oops.
Pretty much everything that is relevant to the episode is in these images, which I saw last night, and I cannot explain how grateful I am that I got these in advance so I could mull over them and think thinky thoughts
But mostly, this one:
Because that is 100% me, right there.
I approve of this reclusive, friend-shunning, too-depressed-to-move method of grieving. I like the two-week timeline, so that if you concentrate, it feels a little less rushed (it still ends up feeling rushed by the end, though). In case that's not enough, in the "things that went over my head" department, someone pointed out that he keeps the bag containing her book clutched close to him the whole time he's out on the case, d'awww.
Now I just need some clarify on the books scattered all over his apartment. I know is that piles and piles of books would definitely factor into my grieving experience, I just don't know if it'd be due to an attempt to seek comfort from them or rage at their sudden inadequacy.
There were a couple of team-member hugs at the end that were good for blurred-vision substitution, too. All in all, pretty satisfied with the fallout here.
P.S. I found this snark-tastic and marvelously image-heavy recap of 8x12, if you're interested. Or we can just look at the still of this poor pitiful puppy*.