Glee, 4x11, "Sadie Hawkins"
I remember a Tweet very specifically lecturing Ryan that when people said "Sadie Hawkins," they wanted to hear more about Blaine's past experience, not have a new Sadie Hawkins dance. And he was all, "No, no, you're getting BOTH!"
Welcome to the land of the lies. But stay for cookies and punch, because even without the backstory it was SO worth the ride.
McKinley, Awesome Half
I. Blam: Crush Edition
Yeah, so, remember all those things I said when spoilers for Blaine having a crush on Sam came up? ALL TRUE, ALL UNFETTERED AWESOME. Despite a distant woe that I don't know what to do with Blaine if he doesn't agree to eternal pining (this is why he wasn't allowed to forgive himself, this is why!), I am just too dizzy with joy to care.
I like that he calls it embarrassing, and his inability to stop staring at Sam's lips like a starving tiger cracks me up. My brain is totally running free rein on this pairing under the "I am allowed to think about Blaine's fantasies" clause without having to rationalize it for canon.
I think my very favorite thing about this is that even though it's nice it's based in friendship, it's also at least 75% physical. Even though that's what ruined us in the first place, it feels...safer, in a way, than a proper infatuation. I still have my waiting game, while this can be blamed on Blaine being 18 and not having gotten any in a while.
Also, weirdly? I feel like this helps me cope with/understand the cheating. Just a little bit. Because now my brain is full of Sad Abandonment-Issues Blaine, and what if Eli was not so much the sleazy jerk we all assume he is, and...I can accept Blaine jumping at the chance for touch. Finally. It sucks and I hate them for making me think about this at all, but it's better than the way Kurt's incurring my wrath.
Anyway, crush-on-your-straight-friend is one of my pet tropes in fiction. I liked his hot insistence on not being "some predatory gay," because that little bit of self loathing for not being able to shut it down mixed with frustration that he has to in the first place speaks volumes, and the "I'm proud of our relationship, I'm proud of showing the school that" and the ever-present fear of jeopardizing friendship that is so desperately important, especially now. There is just nothing I do not love about this, including the fact that it didn't get resolved in one episode.
II. Blam!: Nightbird + Blond Chameleon And the Crusade for Justice
Just in case that whole crush storyline wasn't enough, I guess. Cannot stop laughing at Sam blowing in like a hurricane and unnecessarily sweeping all Blaine's stuff off the table (Blaine: WTF?). I love that Sam is spearheading this whole campaign with or without Blaine's help. I love anything that spotlights the Warblers (coffee shop meltdown = stuff of legend), even if I'm sick of Trent getting to be their sane spokesperson instead of Nick. I do love the idea of them being pals at Dalton and Trent looking up to him.
The whole locker room conversation was golden. It's so weird to think that this time last year Finn was diagramming crazy plans with them to ambush Puck, and suddenly he's an adult weighing possible consequences and they're over-exuberant high school kids rattling off conspiracy theories.
This section would be longer, but I wrote it last and the new episode is almost here. SORRY, FUTURE ME. Remember: 100% awesome!
III. Tina and the Unstoppable Crush Disaster
Can I just say that after spending most of hiatus feeling sad and anxious about The State of Klaine and also recently traumatized by a fic that made me hate Blaine, the second his polite, composed voice started speaking at the Stud.Co. meeting, all my anxieties washed away and were replaced with pure bliss. I love your everything, you're perfect.
Not as intoxicating as it was with Rachel, but seeing as I ship Blaine/Every Pretty Female Ever... I am the champion of Klaine shipping, but if I saw the opportunity to get Blaine all to myself, I wouldn't think twice. GET IT, GIRL.
♪♪I Don't Know How To Love Him: Boring song - may grow on me? brainwashing self as I write - but best montage ever. Besides howling with laughter at the gratuitous shot of him bending over (Meanwhile, in my dashboard - "Darren's ass. Darren's ass everywhere"), the tater tot escapade was beyond precious. *kicky feet*
Everything about this just made me so happy. Blaine's increasingly desperate refusal to acknowledge she's singing at him, the unflinchingly anxiously polite attempt to let her down as gently as possible despite having to do it in front of everyone (p.s. FINN, YOUR IDEAS ARE THE WORST), and everybody's awesome reaction faces.
...oh god, I just spent two hours making this:
AND WE'RE DONE WITH THAT.
Tina approaching him afterwards and demanding explanations for this BS...:D She keeps emphatically promising not to tell anyone, but all I keep hearing is "I swear to god, if you don't tell me I will KILL YOU." (Red Foreman again: "Maybe the reason guys don't like you is because you just don't let things go!"]
I love how fast Blaine folds, even though he needs some pressure applied, because he's clearly dying to talk to someone about this but with Kurt off the table, who else can he trust? (and I really, really don't believe that Blaine is ready to tell Kurt and risk him thinking he's moved on, even if "Gay Magnet" makes it decently plausible. yes that's a fic rec)
Random aside: he's making that sad puppy face again. This is the reason girls fall in love with you.
They looked beautiful at the dance, because Blaine is a 1950s dreamboat, a perfect gentleman when not ambushed with aggressive serenades in public. (refraining from "HAH! NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!" commentary...or not) I love letting my brain drift into an AU where he is and always has been in the closet, and even Tina doesn't know - extra heartbreaking that way.
I'm sad that Sam interrupted that kiss. It would have made me terrifically happy in the comfort-seeking department, because kissing without expectations is nice, isn't it?
BONUS: Here is a beautiful post-ep: Unexpected Gifts - wowbright.
Summary: Tina takes Blaine home from the dance. She's quite the gentleman even though she might rather be a rake.
And here is its companion piece, switching over to Blaine's perspective to ruminate on his newly complicated friendships with both her and Sam: Fragile Gifts.
Summary: Blaine loves three different people in three very different ways.
Nope, I can't deal with Adam.** One reactionary "fuck you" on my part when he breezed past in the first scene told me anything showing or referencing him would be better off locked in a box for the distant, distant future. Pity about the Starkids I'm missing, but can't be helped. And damn Tumblr for shoving .gifs in my face.
[**There was a brief moment 2 weeks ago where I thought I might try to appreciate it as AU, after partially skimming The Fic With All The Warnings legit traumatized me so much that I had fantasies of stabbing Blaine and couldn't wait for Kurt to ditch the horrifying abusive relationship for someone older and with a genuinely good heart, but the effect has worn off since then and no way am I subjecting myself to that again for a refresher dose.]
Rachel continued her newfound custom of being terrible, urging Kurt to forget that childish high school stuff like clubs and ex-boyfriends while she herself moves forward with project Hop On Brody's Dick, so I gave up on this entire section. I only watched long enough to hear Kurt's adorable voiceover (college IS exactly like high school), feel a twinge over realizing he joined glee in the first place to make friends, and be terribly saddened about how excited he was by the idea of belonging to a show choir again only to have Rachel crap all over that dream.
Poor baby looks so SAD.
#that was not an invitation for some tosser to make him smile
But as we've established, no one should be listening to Rachel this year. According to Tumblr, she invited Brody to move in, and I really hope she meant with his own bed and that he just crashed for sleeping purposes the night before, but either way NO NO NO GOD THE HORRORS NO I will never, ever let the idea of her sleeping with Brody into my brain. This will upset me to the point of tears if I think about it too long.
[getting slightly hysterical about this and also worried about roommate parallels]
She's too young and it's too soon after her first committed relationship. She cannot be the college freshman who, now that she's not a virgin, decides that sex has been demystified and it's time to grow up and embrace that sharing a bed is just part of the dating scene*. Especially not with this casual-ass bozo. If I knew this was what breaking up with Finn would lead to, I would have roped and dragged her to the chapel myself.
*This goes for Kurt too, because I can still see (unhappily) see it happening with Rachel but GOD HELP ME if the somehow-worse-than-Blaine-cheating happens; I don't have the fortitude to withstand the two-princes fairytale being permanently damaged and scarred twice. I'm at the point where anyone who has the gall to so much as say they'd be okay with Kurt sleeping with that guy makes me not only want to burst into tears, I get physically sick to my stomach. It would feel worse than the cheating because it won't come with regret.
Someone please stop me before I spiral any further.
McKinley, Stupid Half
Does this entire stupid year have to be about Jake and Marley's gag-worthy "romance"? Why are there Puckermans everywhere I look? Why is that slag who tried to ruin Quinn's queen campaign here when she was established as being from the class of '12? Questions like these are why I just ended up skipping/fast-forwarding every scene Blaine wasn't in. (blaine-edits is my new best friend!)
Except the one where Brittany checked to make sure Marley knew her name since they'd never actually had a conversation before; this age-mismatched friendship is already the cutest thing I have ever seen and I wish mightily that Brittany would attempt to be her big sister/high school life coach.
[edit: aw, apparently Ryder sang out his unrequited feelings at the dance. And I love how Neck Brace Cheerio is everywhere (I hope her fanbase is as big as Nick & Jeff's); she would be a highly acceptable temporary Marley stand-in for him. That's right, I am already more invested in this romance than in Jake's.]
I've been living it up with nostalgic playlists and decided I'm not ready to deal with Glee music again yet, so I skipped all the other performances. The only one I wanted to hear was "No Scrubs," and I was told there was grinding, so NO THANK YOU. But I did listen to it later, and holy crap! Definitely not taking down the original, but this somehow sounds great as a boy band number??
And also, based on the stills before this episode aired, I am agawak and agape at how beautiful the girls' dresses looked on the number Brittany was involved in, and the dresses everyone wore to the dance were collectively prettier than any dance in show history.
Up Next: there is about a 5% chance of Rachel's storyline leaving me satisfied and a 100% chance it will piss me off by reminding me where Lea Michele came from. The music sounds really good, though, and I think I might like it in spite of myself despite how mortified I am for all the actors involved in that calendar shoot.