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R.I.P.
kymthelion
Kym The Dog
1997/1998? - February 18, 2013
(Adopted October 31, 1998)


I made the call to put her to sleep two days ago based on a variety of little things that made me think she was getting worse (namely how she couldn't go up and down the stairs outside without being half lifted), and we wanted to end it before she couldn't walk or was in excruciating pain, especially after she let out a long whine last night for no reason. There was no clear, definitive pile of evidence that said it was definitely time. I stayed with her to the end, but I'll never stop feeling guilty I made the call too early. When it was over, there was no clear sense of relief that I'd released her from pain and suffering, except by theoretically being ahead of the pain curve. She had a really nice last day complete with a bacon breakfast and got to walk to the park like she always wants, but I can't figure out how to tell myself that's comforting instead of just a sign I should have waited a few more days, because she's not one of those "ooh, vet office? exciting!" kinds of dogs. She is the opposite of that. I don't know how to talk about any of it publicly anymore so I'm just going to curl back up in my offline grief cocoon for an indeterminate amount of time until I figure out how to be without my best friend.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
lukecanwaltz88
Feb. 18th, 2013 08:11 pm (UTC)
That is the toughest decision to ever, ever have to make, so don't (or try not to) feel guilty. You two obviously had a wonderful bond that will stay with you forever. I'm so, so sorry. <3 I know how difficult it is! :( *major hugs*
dotty
Feb. 18th, 2013 10:10 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* I'm so very sorry, I wish there was something I could say or do.
lieueitak
Feb. 19th, 2013 12:01 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Kym was a truly beautiful dog and a wonderful friend to you. I'm so sorry. :(
eleigh
Feb. 19th, 2013 08:03 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. Take all the time you need.
janusfiles
Feb. 19th, 2013 03:30 pm (UTC)
Right now, the only thing that comes to mind is Grissom's speech during Warrick's funeral.

I'm sorry for your loss.
lumiere42
Feb. 19th, 2013 07:08 pm (UTC)
*Sympathies*

If she was in serious, unmanageable pain, and terminally ill, you made the right decision.
muzzy_olorea
Feb. 25th, 2013 05:40 pm (UTC)
Oh God, no, no, NO!

How did I miss this post? The last I read she was doing better and then when I heard you referencing drinking wine, I knew I must have missed something. So sorry. :(:(:(:( All my random talk of CSI:NY and 'Under The Dome' was so unnecessary now I know. :(:(:(:( I know just how devastating this is for you and nothing I can say will ever make that better, including the obvious "at least she isn't suffering any more" (yes, that's good in theory but doesn't make anyone feel better when you are still suffering!).

This is the ONE reason why having a pet sucks.

*huge huggles*
rainbowstevie
Feb. 25th, 2013 07:56 pm (UTC)
It's okay! Really, it is. I knew it was probably going to be a day-by-day evaluation, and it really was a pretty sharp turn; then once we decided I couldn't bring myself to post about it beforehand. Meanwhile, now that I have had sufficient time in my grief cocoon, fandom things have helped nearly as much as wine.

But I really appreciate you taking the time for a heartfelt comment. You always had such nice responses to my silly Kym posts, plus I can trust a fellow pet owner to really get it.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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