For the record, I have not yet watched the new episode of Glee. I got very distracted by the amount of link-gathering required to complete the latter half of this post and forgot how much I loved this episode in the face of how much I loved last week's. For the further record, my failing ability to handle work finally snapped last night, but fortunately the workload's intensity broke today, so I have a very manageable amount to do for tomorrow.
Glee, 4x15, "Girls (and Boys) On Film"
Lamely Lima (All Songs, Little Substance)
♫ - "You're All The World To Me" sounds blah, but I am so mesmerized by the editing tricks and the way I literally cannot wrap my brain around how they did that. I know how they did it, but I can't see it when I'm staring right at it so as far as I'm concerned, they used magic. And it's magical to watch them literally walk up walls and across the ceiling.
♫ + I feel like "Shout" was kind of vocally terrible? And so nutso-bonkers that it was almost too embarrassing to watch? And I definitely did not know it was ever used in a movie
But then I found this gifset, so now I keep imagining Blaine's cheerful tone going "fuck you guys, we're doing Shout," and I am finding the extra ridiculous performance as adorable and silly and fun as I want it to be with Darren The Five-Year-Old leading the way. I just like when everybody is happy and the whole school cheers for them, okay? And when extras are hilarious.
+ I love Finn's dopey-earnest view of the world as a movie, but am still amazed to hear Will being the realistic and responsible grown-up about giving Emma the space she so clearly asked for. I like how they're both right at once.
♫ ++ "In Your Eyes" is a song where I had no idea that was what it was called, or that it was in a movie, but I've been hearing that song on the radio my whole life and I love it. Glee covered it beautifully. I also loved all the kids providing backup (I like to believe that Blaine has great respect for Miss Pillsbury and is very proud of helping do this for her)...and the subsequent order to scram.
-I do not love the fact that their relationship has once AGAIN been handed a reset button. Like I'm not even taking pleasure in watching them get jerked around anymore; just give them the happy ending they've earned like five times over. I'm mostly angry because there's no way we're getting a big, ceremonial church wedding again, so if they do get hitched, it's either the series finale or an awful, tiny "just us/spur of the moment" marriage affair because television hates church weddings and avoids them whenever possible.
-I still don't get why everyone was mad at Will for staring Finn down and then walking away in silence after his confession. If someone kisses your fiancee - making it very clear that she in no way initiated or recipcrocated it, i.e. they are a giant boundary-overstepping douchebag and 100% the party at fault - you have the right to feel enraged, especially if that person is otherwise your friend (first person who pipes up with Will not having friends his own age will be bitchslapped and then reminded about the age range of Glee fans who interact on Tumblr). Was Will actually supposed to smile and go, "Aw, buddy, that's ok! I mean, that was a silly thing to do and I won't pretend it doesn't sting a little, but the important thing is that you realize it and told me first"?
Blaine told Kurt right away too, but I don't think anybody thinks Kurt wasn't fully in the right to walk away from him that night, or even to break up with him
+ Of course it's desperately sad to watch Finn's little boy heart crumble in his towering giant chest. I know he knows he made a mistake. And that is why we'll forgive him - later.
♫ ++ Danger Zone/Old Time Rock 'n Roll was SO FUN, and the songs blended together much better than I thought they would. Any time Joe gets featured, even if not audibly, I'm on board. Couldn't even decide which trio I liked better, but I did love Sam's group being 100% ridiculous and without shame (turns out Jake is like 50% more appealing without pants or speaking). And who knew Ryder could leap like a deer?
♫ -- My mom made me sit through the Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend mashup. HORRIFYING. Actively worse than I thought it would be.
♫ -- My mom also made me sit through "Unchained Melody." BLECH. But I am still a melted puddle of ooze at all the swoon-worthy Ryder/Marley stuff (did I mention the actual kissing!!!). ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HOW ARE YOU SO UNEARTHLY PRETTY TOGETHER. I feel like I just soaked my brain in a romance novel, that's the amount I just want to think about them + sensory things. Not as dirty as it sounds.
-Still ready to punch Jake's lights out because it is really gross to watch Marley apologize and cry and feel bad for cheating -- I'm sorry, for freezing up and holding still -- and him have no sympathy at all. Let's hope she never gets taken advantage of at a party while drunk.
+The fit everyone threw when Mr. Schue announced it was a tie was fun (Ryder: *throws a chair*), but my favorite part of the aftermath was Blaine insisting that he and Tina would make a great leading pair for Artie's movie. YES. DO THAT. WITH KISSING.
♫ ++ Footloose was awesome - so much fun, Sam sounds surprisingly great, and I never thought much of this song before. Now it is 100% stuck in my head. ALSO: BLAINE AND MARLEY PARTNERED UP. Every time you think that dream is dead...!
King and Queen of Glee Club 2.0
will also accept "cutie patooties"
New York (Where This Party At)
+ Santana is more glorious in this episode than she has ever been or probably ever will be. Her endless stream of effortless insults for Plastic Man had me howling. Even her more tactless lines -- "you pretend to be all open and accepting, but when your friend digs through your stuff you're offended?" -- were hysterical. I also love how immediately intrigued Kurt was by this new ally, apparently willing to forgive all of Santana's transgressions in an instant if she could find a way to get Misogynist Ken out of their lives and loft immediately, and how much fun he had giggling and smirking with her about it in the background later.
- Still annoyed by Rachel weeping into Santana's arms. I appreciate that she was so tightly wound it only took the slightest poke to snap, but at the same time -- you can't squander an opportunity to tell Quinn she was pregnant while they were still in the same town, and then let Santana just waltz on in and have that moment.
Not least because -- this post. I don't know what Santana expected to happen (I'm pretty sure she didn't think past the satisfaction of the look on Rachel's face after she successfully stirred shit up), but she looks so awkward and uncomfortable trying to mimic a comforting/maternal pose that I can't get my usual satisfaction out of it. Glee, it is really hard to screw up a tearful comfort hug[*text content stored under spoiler cut for safekeeping purposes only. inferior option to clicking link]
[post content stored for safekeeping #I do not trust Tumblr #I will never trust Tumblr]
luckyjak: Santana is holding her like “Holy Jesus wait you actually think of me as a friend omg what do I do my only experiences with friendships usually end with me backstabbing people HELP WHAT DO I DO I THINK I’M EXPERIENCING MY FIRST PLATONIC FEELING.”
Me: I feel like Santana is pulling one of those Arrested Development “I don’t know what I expected” faces in her head after confronting Rachel Berry, Extreme Crying Champ - “Now with Extra Hormones!”
#no one will ever convince me Santana was actually prepared to be a friend here #and she looks so awkward and uncomfortable trying to mimic a maternal pose #I will grant that she's trying to provide comfort by the end #but ugh the amount I don't care about Pezberry friendship is ridiculous #Rachel Berry pregnancy scares are invalid unless they involve Quinn or Kurt #or possibly Jesse but otherwise I don't care who the potential father is because he's irrelevant #I see what you're trying to do here Glee and it's not good enough *whip* #loltastic #huggy hugs,
+I'm also still pretty offended by Santana rooting through their drawers, but as people were very quick to spot a framed photograph buried facedown in what looked like a drawer of Kurt's clothes, and assume it was obviously of Blaine, or him and Blaine together...I accept this theory and am mollified.
+ Oh, and I amused myself in Paint again:
♫ +++ Come What May: Like I said, this is the first and only version I've ever heard. It took me 24 hours to fully get it, but now I too think it is the most gorgeous song ever. The set direction is also gorgeous. But let me just copy and paste the relevant part from Tumblr --
I had my meltdown right around the time Kurt leaned his head on Blaine’s shoulder and Blaine’s arms went around him in kind. DYING SEAL NOISES WERE HEARD BY ALL. The flashbacks were a lovely touch [albeit kind of annoyingly distracting after the initial surprise], but when you get a holy grail ship moment no one has spoiled for you ahead of time? Damn.
Everything I have ever wanted out of this couple is right there, all lovely and heartbreaking and sad but close. As soon as people pointed out how their movements toward and away from each other mimic their story arc this season, I found myself watching over and over in fascination. I especially like Blaine half-hidden behind the curtain, watching and waiting. Other people have pointed out how it's the first time we see Kurt really letting himself be held in supportive fashion, and just, curly-fingers.gif
P.S. Something I didn't have a chance to post as a header during Work Week From Hell:
From the Klaine Fans Get Stuff Done files:
I'm having a Moment where I realize that fandom basically made Come What May Happen with only the teensiest endorsement boost from Chris referencing it once upon a time. The song they campaigned to get for...almost two years? was delivered just as demanded, mostly without trickery, and with the most epic backstory possible to make up for the minor trickery of it being a fantasy sequence rather than real life (basically: "it was already sung in real life, several times, off-screen!" So now the version you see as a memory means more).
And Now: Let's Talk About Adam Crawford
Yeah. My transformation to full blown Adam stan behind the scenes over the past two weeks since this episode aired is done, so there will be a lot of gushing. There is a fanfic primer at the end to get you started down my path.
+ Look at his hair. Did Past Me not look at his hair? Because it is a perfect shade of sandy blond, and more to the point, it is slightly fluffy/shaggy and
I everyone should want to play with it. ...I think I just made a case for Kurt needing to make out with him at some point. NO. THAT WAS NOT ON THE AGENDA FOR TODAY. SHUT IT DOWN. We were admiring his hair from an aesthetic perspective. To go along with his casually lanky frame. NOPE. STOP IT. Remember that time you looked this actor up on IMDB and went, "meh"?
Past Me: I do not recall that.
+ Even without having seen Downton Abbey to fully appreciate it, Adam willing to be a giant and shameless dork* with Kurt won him several hundred respect points.
(*and/or perform like a circus dog to make him laugh)
+ In literally one episode - one scene - Adam already fits in with Kurt's friends like he's been here all his life, while Brody still sticks out like a transplanted cabbage in the middle of a flower garden. Tumblr, for instance, was happy to point out how he's making cookies while imitating Downton Abbey characters. And later he's all cozy and comfortable stretched out on the couch reading a magazine.
+ I also like how they're apparently still moving slowly enough that it is unclear to anyone watching whether they are actually a couple.
+ Then this happens.
Past Me: And then Adam had to go “are you crying?” in the sweetest tone of concern and FUCK, THE DEVILS HAVE LEARNED THAT HURT/COMFORT IS THE ONE TRUE WAY TO MAKE ME SHIP ANYTHING.
+ Never mind the fact that nothing breaks my heart like Kurt crying, and it was really about time we got to see him be a wreck about it again.
+ Post-Santana, Adam's look of alarm at how Kurt's ex just went from "high school boyfriend" to "practically engaged." Poor thing just got a very rude wake-up call.
(wow. I don't think I've fully processed the fact that Kurt and Blaine used to actively discuss their wedding, like it was a forgone conclusion; Past Me is rolling in eternity promises. She's in for a rude awakening too.)
+ But then two seconds letter he can't help smiling to himself at Kurt finding singing more intimate than sex, and you could theoretically assume that is a bittersweet smile, or you could assume he is just 100% smitten with the complicated little enigma sitting next to him.
+ Did I mention how much I like the idea of them snowbound for 48 hours and overnight? Don't think I missed the part where the power went out! Well, actually I did, but I assume that I heard it subconsciously and that's how somewhere along the line, I started having all sorts of Revolution/general
apocalypse-type survivalist scenario stirrings in my brain. Wondering about the little group trapped in New York (conveniently Brody-free!) with insufficient/nonexistent communication/transportation sources, and everyone sort of looking to Adam as the de facto leader, whether he wants that role or not, just because he’s older and has lived here longer.
#it is possible I have a thing for alpha males in protective positions #which amuses me because Adam is a puppy and does not strike me as suited for this role at all #but everyone's scared and looking at him like he has all the answers #and their faith in him is unfounded and little bit scary and intimidating #but it's all they have so damned if he's going to take it away from them #...is how I would like it to go in my head
And then I may have written a few hundred words of speculative fic in which it would be okay for Kurt to fall in love with Adam in this scenario. I didn't even have time to speculate on the "so what if Rachel is actually pregnant" twist option that normally would make this extra fun.
WHOOPS THAT GOT SIDETRACKED
+ So...dance studio. Could not have been handled more perfectly.
Adam asks exactly the right questions (I JUST WANTED SOMEBODY TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. "You still love him, don't you?" Adding a British accent makes it better) and says exactly the right things in response. I love that Kurt is still cagey/cannot deny being in love with Blaine and the director was very careful to illustrate the glaring amount of space between them and Kurt's highly uncomfortable body language. "I desperately want to be over him" still stings like a bitch out loud, but by that point Adam looks so sad and resigned to his fate as a rebound whose shelf life just expired without being opened, and would have accepted anything to take that look off his face.
+ A movie seems like a nice compromise. It's cute how Adam thinks you can just "decide" to make a movie yours, but the fact that he is willing to be as disgustingly sappy as it takes just won him a bunch more respect points. The phrase "I demand PG romance and nothing less than full blown wooing" springs to mind...
+ Also, the only thing that gets me faster than hurt/comfort is handholds. It's a bold move for the RS World of Shipping, which moves at turtle pace, but it's also a safe, gentle and undemanding one. It's asking and it's offering. Pardon the purple prose, but his grip promises security. And that is the reassurance everyone needs.
+ It does not at all hurt that Kurt has a less than enthusiastic response. Let me meta that for you in tag form!
#this [handhold] stings less than it should #I think it is because Kurt looks as afraid of hurting Adam as he does of moving on #and because he knows this is a sweet gesture #and it sucks that he still has reservations about it #DID I MENTION HOW HARD ADAM IS WORKING TO MAKE THIS OKAY
+ Here is some meta you should use to forget everything I just said:
Meta #1 (with imagery): "I love how Adam doesn't just TAKE Kurt's hand...
I just love how Adam doesn’t just TAKE Kurt’s hand. His fingers simply graze against Kurt’s hand, inviting him, and Kurt reaches out, offers his hand in return - and only then does Adam take his hand. And you can see, in the third gif, how Kurt gives a little squeeze first - I’d seen Adam do it but I’d missed how Kurt is the first one to do it. And it means so much to me because like, Kurt knows he’s not over Blaine - he’s just not, but he also knows that he genuinely likes Adam, and he doesn’t want his feelings for Blaine to be in the way of any chance he has with Adam. And it’s like he’s asking for him to be patient - because it’s not that Kurt doesn’t want Adam, it’s just that he doesn’t quite know HOW while Blaine is still in the back of his mind.
And I just really love that. Because it’s so real, and I really hope Kurt manages to figure it out and that, whoever he ends up with, will really make him happy.
Meta #2 (with imagery): Look carefully at what Chris is doing when British dude asks if he is still in love with Blaine. This is a “retraction” - it is literally the body attempting to refill with air. This is not something you can make happen - it is an honest physical reaction from the body when it senses the loss of oxygen.
Meta #3: "I see a lot of people not understanding why Adam didn’t back down after Kurt admitted to not being over Blaine, but I think I understand where he’s coming from. "
TL;DR: Adam is a sweetheart and my two-princes fairytale is already ruined so...look, I'm not on the dark side of multi-shipping Kurt yet, but I am a whole lot addicted to the fact that Adam's entire existence so far has revolved around smiling at Kurt and getting him to smile back. I'm apparently OK with a midgame ship so long as it is completely devoid of passion. *nods approvingly*
And that he and Blaine stay in completely separate storyline spheres so I can continue pretending Kurt would only try to move on in a world where Blaines' dead.
And now, the fic!
Kurt/Adam: A Primer
Hear My Heart Burst (Again): A few hundred words of delicious fluff as they fall asleep watching a movie. Or rather, Adam does, and things get cuter from there. Probably nothing will ever eclipse that, but here are some other options.
(untitled) by the oh-sure-that-will-definitely-stay tumblr user currently known as ryderlynn: When I'm ready to deal with the existence of a kiss, here's a cute little post-ep set post-movie-date. May have some falling angst.
New With You: a context free, timeline-clashing* drabble featuring Kurt + Adam + New Year's Eve in Times Square. Bonus points for huddling-for-warmth.
(*Imma pretend the TARDIS was involved. and/or Adam is secretly Twelve. Not the age. Woo!)
(untitled) by Tumblr fandomiscoming: "Kurt has a crappy day and Adam comes to the rescue." Bonus points for I-am-assuming-non-sexy sleepover. With massaging.
It may be a shirtless massage, who said that, NOT THIS GIRL. This is legitimate masseusery. (oh my god that is a word.) Almost entirely.
Bonus: Klaine-focused ones where Adam is still in the picture:
(in my head, wowbright / flaming_muse are like the Deb Caletti and Sarah Dessen of the Klaine fic world, the most solid/reliable/prolific and slightly different but equally awesome authors when it comes to quality product on a certain theme, especially in the canon-compliant-at-time-of-writing post-ep realm)
The Sparrow - wowbright: "Anniversary prompt: 'what they're doing this year, when they're broken up.' ~2,500 words of feels and hope. "
(It starts out all deceptively calm and even happy, but then suddenly there are TEARS EVERYWHERE. And that, of course, makes me happy. Bonus, Adam being sweet without getting hurt and Blaine/Sam solidifying their bromance some more.)
Memories - flaming_muse: Just what it says. Little moments in Kurt's day that trigger flashbacks to happier times with Blaine - all just as quickly, heartbreakingly repressed. But the happy scenes are so worth it. Until the last few lines and then it is just stabbing sad, curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry-your-heart-out.
Something Better - wowbright: "Kurt and Adam break up; Kurt and Blaine make up. A wedding happens, and everyone ends up happy."
BONUS HAPPY TIMES:
Fight Through The Ghosts in the Hallway - the multicorn: "Blaine buys most of his bow ties at estate sales. The first time it’s with Kurt." Set in summer 2011. #literally my dream fic
A Place Where I Feel Safe - aelora: 5,000 words of Future Kurt/Blaine spending an entire lazy day napping and cuddling. Possibly the greatest gift ever given by a fanfic writer. "koala-cling Blaine" is now my headcanon.
Note: I have read a lot of fanfic in the past two weeks. I'm still trying to round it all up, so expect more in the next post.
Lesson learned: THESE POSTS WILL NEVER BE SHORTER THAN I HOPE.