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Holy cats it's a post about television

How I Met Your Mother
8x19, "The Fortress"
Heeeeeeeeeee! Non-stop laughter throughout this one from Dramatic Floating Head Barney to Robin realizing that she loved all of Barney's grossly ingenious inventions. I mean, I'm actually kind of disappointed in her willingness to embrace the gross parts of him, but as a viewer I was highly entertained by things like the hide-a-ho-bed and the apartment being haunted by the ghosts of skanks past (sadly only alluded to).

Loved the return of The Captain, even just saying variants on the same phrase over and over again. Marshall and Ted pretending to be a transatlantic gay couple with a baby entertained me way more than should be humanly possible, I think mostly for Marshall's haughty brush-off of Lily's protests. And even though I'm still more part of the Barney/Robin crowd when it comes to Downton Abbey, all the "Woodworthy Manor" jokes were set up just right for even us Croods to find them hilarious. (one day, I will watch D.A. and I imagine the rest of pop culture will light up and sparkle in a brand new way like it did after I was able to understand Doctor Who references)

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8x20, "Time Travelers"
So confusing, but will probably be funny in reruns? I enjoyed the dance-off, at least. I wanted to be more moved by Ted's dramatic imaginary declaration of love -- I mean, it's Ted! I love that guy when he's in full blown Romantic Mode and not directing it at Robin! -- but ultimately I was kind of "meh" about it so I hope it unexpectedly punches me in the feelings bone later on. I look forward to that day.

[11.5 Months From Now RS: Hi there. I'm here to tell you that a few weeks from now, you will meet The Mother. You'll be pleased if not overwhelmed by her face, and then a few months after that you'll fall as in love with her as Ted is, and one day this speech will make you weep like a baby. I have no advice for getting yourself there faster, just trust me. She's worth the wait. She's worth every word of the speech.]

I still haven't figured out whether it's Emma Pillsbury I hate or just Jayma Mays and her giant bushbaby eyes. This episode did not clear that up. "Disappointed!" But the Minnesota Tidal Wave sounds like a delicious drink I totally should have had for my birthday.

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Revolution: The Series Rises From The Dead
(okay, not really, but it was so spine-tinglingly magical when the opening credits started up after so many dormant months, I almost couldn't believe my eyes and ears. it could so easily have gone the way of Terra Nova, but no, this is The Show That Lived)

And, okay, I may have been in obsessive cleaning mode still and a bit busy organizing my jewelry box and 40 pairs of earrings, so I wasn't paying strict attention. But it was enough for me to hear Miles get all guilt-and-grief-stricken about not knowing he left Rachel behind in Monroe's hell, complete with "did he hurt you?" (not explicitly denied), and some sort of almost-kissing action, which, hello, RS can absolutely be on board with if you're offering to double the number of ladies in this family he can get fiercely protective of and then double the fun by putting romantic motivation behind one.

Totally missed the father/son beatdown over at Militia Mayhem, but I could probably be convinced to not hate Nate Jason if he's come away from the dark side. Captain Neville is still ten times more interesting, though.

Still in indignant shock over Golden Child Danny being riddled full of bullet holes. Really? Really?

Very happy to see Dubenko! "John." Whatever. Recognized his voice before I saw him, and it snapped me right out of my intense jewelry-sorting focus. I understand not one iota of the mystery going on here, but I will enjoy consuming it in 1-hour-sized bites once a week for the rest of the year.

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Survivor
I keep writing about it, meaning to bundle it with other TV talk, but then I never write about anything except Glee, so there is kind of a backlog and it's now week 7 and I haven't actually published anything about the season yet. Backtracking ahoy!

Up to Week 5, a/k/a Crazy Meltdown Week.
This is now officially the longest it's ever taken for me to get my head established with a season, and I blame it entirely on the fact that the Favorites camp is full of blustering blowhards, and every time they focus on the Fans camp, I can be found glaring at the screen with the most intense, dead-eyed repulsion every time Phillip opens his mouth (which is every other second or so), in a way I have not felt since Grossell. He is such a freak. It makes me hate everyone in sight for allowing it to continue/start in the first place. Show, you are the WORST.

So you can imagine why Brandon's meltdown struck me right in the funnybone. It was so CATHARTIC, I had to watch the episode twice. I can't dislike him even a little bit now, not after all his wonderful calling out of Phillip on all his delusional freak crap. I get that he sounded like a toddler, but that's basically how I feel from the couch every week. Boiling over with resentment that everybody is just smiling and nodding, refusing to say what they really think, and it is really super frustrating! SOMEBODY CALL THIS DOUCHEBAG OUT. Subtract a sense of impulse control, and that's what comes out.

Watching Brandon whackjob out all over the place at camp was pretty fun too. I laughed at halfhearted Erik's attempt to stop him was, because obviously it's just a bluff and there's no way anyone would be - oh. You just...literally dumped our entire food supply on the ground. OK. That seems a little crazy.

I especially like how Deb followed Brandon onto the beach like she was going to say something, but then just stood there gaping and gave up because it was literally impossible to process how awful he just was.

The fact that Brandon's spitting rant-n-rave just went on and on and on at the challenge? Also great. At some point I just started laughing and never stopped until he had voted himself out. Honestly, this episode was so great that I had to delay watching the next one because I wanted to bask in this warm, glowing, warming glow a while longer.

P.S. Just wanted to say that this episode featured my favorite Reward challenge of all time - coconut basketball vs. the oxen-strength hold. And that the only time Phillip has made me do anything other than glare with hatred all season was while shouting random things like "KUNTE KINTE!" to throw people off their shooting game.

How I Feel About People Who've Been Voted Out So Far:
Francesca: well, despite this being the first and only time I've ever seen her, she is clearly way better than Phillip. And Brandon. And Andrea. And at least half the favorites.

Allie: That's too bad. She was rather pretty, and had a bit of spark about her.

Hope: Meh, made literally no impression.

Shamar: GOOD. Big bellowing ox. It was hard to even feel that bad for a med-e-vac.

Laura: Consarn it! I loved her hair and she was so cute; she seemed like a really nice person to know in real life.
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WEEK 6 [holds true for week 7 also]
OK, now that the dust has settled, let's talk about how I feel about all the remaining people:

FANS:
Matt: seems nice enough, but honestly, I cringe and physically recoil every time I see his carnie tats and will not miss him.

Michael: BE MORE BORING/AWKWARD.

Julia: I keep forgetting her actual name, because she's so cute with her little auburn pigtail braids and splash of freckles that I just want to call her Anne or Annie after all the famous ones. Or possibly Pippi (Longstocking). She's like a walking book character! She could have so much fun on Dress Up Like A Literary Character Day.

Sherri: I call her Sherri Bullock because IT IS INSANE HOW MUCH SHE LOOKS LIKE SANDRA BULLOCK, RIGHT?? I still do double takes every time I look at her because the resemblance is that strong. She's the only Favorite I still feel a strong connection to; she seems like good,intelligent people.

Eddie: was described as "a wonderful guy when he's not around Reynold," which sounds about right. He still seems like a typical guy, but a well-meaning one. I don't blame him for pairing up with the only other guy his age (he seems like the kind of guy who would put up with douchey friends), it just makes me want him to outlast the snake oil salesman. Try making friends with Malcolm! That's an option now.

Reynold: Could not be a more stereotypical dick if he tried. #gettin' real tired of your shit
(In a nutshell, he seems like the kind of guy who is fine when things are going his way, but has a short fuse when they don't. He seems like the type who would get offended and blamey about being shot down when hitting on someone at a bar.)

FAVORITES
Most of my opinions on everybody are the same as my reaction to the cast list spoilers, with the only changes being:
-Andrea is really getting on my nerves with her slavish devotion to Phillip
-I know he's gone now, but I just wanted to mention that the new zebra stripes on Brandon's arm seriously look like leeches and it's grosser than a normal tattoo.
-I kinda love Corinne, based mostly on her hatred for Phillip, but this "I love The Gays/My Gay" business is so...fetishizing? dehumanizing? other words I learned on Tumblr? that it's making us all very uncomfortable
-Cochran is extra witty, amusing, and not nearly as embarrassing or uncomfortable to watch as the first time around. It's almost like he's not even playing, he's just installed there to provide live on-the-scene commentary like a journalist sent abroad

OVERALL
Still laughing at how unbalanced the strength between the two tribes is.

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WEEK 7
Aaaaand out goes another of the people I actually like. :( If Phillip is not the first person thrown out of the merged tribe next week, I will just be so very angry.

All I have to say about this episode is that Erik (who has not gotten to talk nearly enough this season) looked like an actual puppy sleeping on his back - his hands were curled up like paws! - and I can't really fault Malcolm for wanting to pull together a Buff Young Dudes alliance, but I like him much better when he is giddily kissing people's hair on a caffeine high than while aligning with Reynold.

Oh, and it was super handy that Survivor had Coffee Bar Reward Day on a day when I was loaded down with fancy (free) coffee drinks myself. I like when I actually have the antidote to the cravings this show inspires.
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And now, bed. Dentist at 7:30 sharp. :(

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
pianogurl330
Apr. 4th, 2013 05:12 pm (UTC)
The floating heads and the D.A. spoof had me cracking up!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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