[HIMYM: Romeward Bound]
How I Met Your Mother, 8x21, "Romeward Bound": Did Barney learn nothing from the time Robin was pretty not-okay with him continuing to ogle strippers, or...? Keep makin' me not ship it, guys. High five. (but I did enjoy the Puffy Coat mystery)
Meanwhile, what is wrong with me that I, advocate of NO CHANGE EVER and huge proponent of "never leave the U.S. if possible," really wants Lily & Marshall to move to Italy? I assume they don't, because season 9, but that would be so cool for them.
(btw, I appreciate Lily being afraid to move more than 10 subways stops from where she grew up in theory, but LOL @ anyone being attached to New York City, like I can't even wrap my brain around it)
[2 Broke Girls and the Worst Selfie Ever]2 Broke Girls and the Worst Selfie Ever: I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T THINK I CAN MOVE PAST MAX VOLUNTEERING TO PERSONALLY EYEBALL CAROLINE'S STD. I don't mean like a dealbreaker, I mean this is quite literally the most wonderfully bizarre thing that has ever happened. Not sure how to convey my appreciation of exactly how shamelessly close their friendship is without crossing a line/sounding pervy, so I'll just make it worse: this is eclipsed only by the fact that Caroline apparently has no trouble showing her a picture of it. This is a thing that has officially happened! (am I the only person who kept expecting her to accidentally text the photo random contact while she had the phone up her skirt, blindly pressing buttons?)
For an episode plot that seemed really gross, it was actually one of the better ones this season. Caroline's herp-walk, minimal Oleg, "Nurses Without Credentials" Sofie, the fantastic gives-no-bothers nurse at the clinic, and most of all: THE TEMPORARY RETURN OF CANDY ANDY. Setting candy traps as bait/distraction to flee in unseen nudity to the bathroom (alas, Max has already secretly seen and approved. This is also a thing that has happened.)
Another "am the only person" question - who else initially thought the "under a dollar store" was a code word for the dump? I'm honestly surprised they haven't made a plotline out of dumpster-diving yet. That seems right up their alley.
[Revolution, pre-empted last night but I still have 2 weeks to catch up on]Revolution: I've already forgotten what happened in episode 12 besides Randall backstory - he seems terrifically annoying, and I have yet to understand his rationale that this world somehow results in less unnecessary wartime death - and Rachel destroying a couple of those flash drives, but I definitely remember episode 13 since it gave me TEARY COMFORT HUGGING and later went "OH HEY, Miles & Rachel should make out a little before she leaves." ((screams internally)) My brain is so very happy right now!
And that's not even counting all the fun Neville capture/torture (albeit an insufficient amount before he escaped; damn it, guys - he is Enemy #1, you should know you need at least 6 armed guards at all times). I will totally sacrifice the Padre for that.
[Go On season finale]Go On season finale: wow, that was super dickish of Anne and Mr. K. Her I will forgive, him I would like to see drown in a lake. I also didn't get why everyone wanted to burn things as closure (I HATE WHEN PEOPLE BURN PERFECTLY GOOD THINGS. Give them to charity). Also, the campground ceremony didn't exactly seem that "giant and over the top" to me, so I'm unclear why a repeat of that wouldn't have worked.
But at least I got a laugh out of Lauren getting high on helping people and Yolanda's increasingly elaborate fake problem, and I am always here for Janie flashbacks. Always. I'll never let go, Janie!
[Last week's The Mindy Project - Santa Fe]The Mindy Project - Santa Fe: HAH, HAH, HAH!! That is like a new bar of vindictive writer laziness, except not really because the show is not old enough or deep enough for either of those things, but boy, that is a great template for other comedies. "Did you inherit a stupid character from previous writers/showrunners you don't want to deal with anymore? Have shippers who keep wondering when their OTP is gonna get back together, and won't shut up about it? Here's how to deal: throw your problem in rehab and claim they were a crack addict the whole time they were on the show, despite no outward evidence of that, and also secretly dating/sleeping with at least 4 different people simultaneously. They may also have stolen from their love interest. LOL BYE!"
Like, on any other show, I would assume this was some elaborate hoax/prank, because it was so hard to take him seriously that obviously he was just lying through his teeth, but...I think surface level is as deep as this show gets. And that is actually pretty hilarious to me. I love how they weren't content with him secretly leading a double dating life, they really wanted to salt that earth in case there was anyone still clinging onto hope of redemption.
I also greatly enjoyed Danny shaming everyone's lame/insufficiently classic addictions until he got himself thrown out, and the random plane hand-holding during turbulence and how he snatched her hand back when she tried to let go because he apparently wasn't quite done yet. Damn it, television! Stop exploiting my weak spot.
Episode as a whole could have done without British Doctor/Gross Nurse, but that's true of their characters in every situation and every episode. At least they were sequestered so I could skip their scenes entirely. Which it took me way too long to remember I could do when watching online.
[NCIS #19-20]NCIS, Squall: McGee has Daddy Issues; proves he is qualified to be a true member of this team.
Chasing Ghosts: SOPHINA BROWN! (GUEST STARS)!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeh! Yep, this show has reached a point where awesome guest stars are sometimes the most exciting part of an episode. Why can't my attachment to this show just curl up and blow away, like how I've just totally given up on SVU this season without even meaning to? (in related news, I miss Amaro)
[Last week's The Middle]The Middle, Dollar Days: I enjoyed Axl literally coming to blows over Sue/Darrin, especially since it led to the latter accidentally punching Sue in the face. A very nice way to dissolve something that my tolerance had officially reached its short limits for. And I really liked Axl trying to be genuinely nice to her at the end. Meanwhile, Frankie is ever-adorable, but my skin is already crawling at the sight of her new boss. Way to rescue literally the worst possible thing from 30 Rock, show.
[2 weeks' worth of Survivor]Survivor: Officially pissed about Corinne and her awesome plan to DESTROY PHILLIP getting taken down. Don't understand why she kept trying to scramble to turn her Favorites alliance when at worst she had a tie, and best case scenario, she lets them split the votes and she has a strong majority alliance. Pissed anyway, even if she did herself in,
Gross food challenge is eternally gross, but it was SO GREAT to watch Cochran win, showboat it up, and have everyone basically be as genuinely happy for him as if they'd won themselves. Even Malcolm seemed to think it was a hoot to lose by half a swallow to that guy.
Meanwhile, also pissed that Dawn is Tattletale McSnitchy Snitch. Not mad at Dawn exactly, because nobody can be mad at her, but just generally upset that her best positioning in the game is to align herself with the freak. I want there to be better options. (that said, omg, the first page of this recap is genius)
As for last week: Fun reward challenge (dull reward); always here for goal-scoring, especially if water is involved. John "I rarely leave my apartment. I rarely leave Twitter" Cochran continued to be the
Still have no idea wtf Malcolm was doing at Tribal, but I'm glad they voted Michael out and even happier that he flipped them all off on his way out.
Also, Tumblr has been very thoughtful about providing photosets like this on my dash over the weekend, and for the most part I just save things like this to my "Stupidly Attractive Darren Criss Photos" folder (actual name), but today I feel the need to talk about it because holy hell I love her dress.
[now for the fun embarrassing-myself part]I literally spent more time looking at her in those photos than him, and that is just confusing because HI THERE. I don't know entirely what to do in this situation because ogling always feels wrong and invasive, but...but...this is better than the results of the People magazing beach shoot riot of 2012, and I don't know why but I'm taking it as a hopeful sign that maybe one day I will find non-fictional in-person human beings attractive again.
(insert pre-emptive mourning for Future Me, who one day will move on to a new celebrity crush and only find this time a quaint memory. I can't imagine it, but I'm sure it will be like Past Me and her unending dedication to David Tennant's face. Or maybe, if we are lucky, like Past Me + John Krasinki, with less tingling but still retaining a sense of "yeah. I would not mind being married to that guy").
As far as Chris Colfer, just imagine me making Blaine's weird little "hmm" noise at the piano at the end of "Guilty Pleasures." I don't think I can be trusted to say anything else. #feels even ruder and more invasive to look but nnnggghh
P.S. I broke out Taylor Swift's CD for its First Listen today.
I avoided hearing the singles as much as possible to keep them from overplay before I heard all the tracks in order - but I'm almost disappointed by how many lyrics I recognize. I didn't think printed lyrics would spoil anything and so I was safe reading all the Taylor Swift articles, but APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG. It feels jarring and weird, like hearing someone make a song out of something you wrote in an email. Plus now my perception is colored by the commentary that people made about said lyrics, i.e. "22" should be adorable, but instead my head is full of other people going "OMG why is
she so immature she's not 18 anymore!!" (like you change that much in 5 years, at least once you're past middle school)
It'll be a few more spins before anything jumps out at me, I think. I'm on round 3 and nothing feels like...mine, as opposed to some pretty musical dresses I'm just trying on. Right now the singles are my top picks, but I assume that's more power of suggestion than anything. (and the "Never Getting Back Together" track is never going to be one of my favorites anyway, because that idiotic spoken part in the middle shoots its momentum in the face and ruins the catchy nature of the melody. It's like the song is broken into two parts and glued back together).