Eddie won like 500 points in his favor for declaring dogs one of his favorite things in life and wanting to open some kind of dog rescue (I'm ignoring the bars half of his "favorite things" list because YAY DOGS. I hope he is also the kind of guy who likes all dogs but mostly respects and loves the big ones, because I respect those guys more). I also did not know he was an EMT, which a) makes me very happy that hot paramedics exist in real life, and b) dovetails nicely with all the medical emergency scenarios I drum up in my head for fictional characters. Congrats, you just got cast in every story ever!
*Starting with the one you actually played out on my screen with Erik; that was very reassuring.
I loved the house of cards + balance twist challenge, watching everybody's towers go up and crumble back down. Couldn't believe how hard Sherri's hand was shaking by the end. I also loved the puzzle challenge, mostly for Dawn's spastic hugging at the end, but also Eddie's giant little-kid smile when he got the first piece in. It was like he didn't even care about being in last place, he was so proud of himself for finally getting it. It was kind of the same smile he wore at the last vote while explaining why he was such a non-threatening non-threat. (as Mom coined it, " 'I'm a puppy!' ")
Malcolm's been cackling and expressing general glee on the jury so much, I thought for sure he was going to be angry and terrible (kind of like last time), and instead he ended up being basically the nicest person. ALL YOUR HONOR IS RESTORED, SIR.
Eddie's haircut made me sad.
Erik was mean! The puppy was mean! WHYYYYYYY? Dawn did not kill your families, people, Jesus. (and granted, Sherri went off on him like a psychotic Chihuahua, but he was being a condescending jerk first)
Reynold did a nice job of proving to my temporarily-confused mother why he is naturally a grade A douchebag.
Brenda's demands for Dawn to take her teeth out were gross and sad. Everything about their dynamic has been sad this week.
I don't usually drink the feminist Kool-Aid of BECAUSE PATRIARCHY/INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY!! when it comes to hysterical speculations on why something happens to a woman, but in this case I really do think it was true that Cochran got a pass on playing the same game as Dawn basically because he's a man. A little bit because Dawn's emotional outbursts were trying, but largely because he was just a guy and didn't make anything personal. Neither did Sherri, and nobody cared about her. Dawn had to form relationships, but then she got villainized for turning on them. Cochran got to play a coolly detached social game as a Survivor Robot and got lauded for it.
SO MUCH GOING ON.
* Brandon apparently banned, not that you could tell because they decided nobody who failed to make the jury was worthy of focus and banished them all to the audience, where they got to talk less than players who weren't even on this season. Fuck you, Boston Rob. Such a fame whore.
* Rudy was precious, though. "My queer friend Richard..." And he looks so GREAT for 85, wow. (Richard, on the other hand, I did not need to see at all. Shut up. I want to talk to Corinne.)
* Brenda's having a baby! THAT WAS THE CUTEST REVEAL. (side note: I love how Dawn shut down Jeff's dramatic nonsense about how they HAVEN'T SPOKEN SINCE THAT FATEFUL DAY. "Well, I did get a chance to connect with her briefly at Ponderosa...")
* Reynold looks way less douchey clean shaven and with a proper haircut. It's kind of remarkable.
* I feel like I should have heard about Malcolm getting even a bit part on a soap opera. THAT WAS DELIGHTFUL. Also, his flowing locks now officially look like a lion's mane, and are just as magnificent and regal-looking. And I laughed at what was probably just nervous habit, but the way he kept running his hand through it made it look like he couldn't keep his hands off it, either.
* I AM SO HAPPY HE WON FAN FAVORITE, I can't even be that sad about Brenda missing out. I do feel bad for her as a pending new mom, but...he missed the final 3, and then he missed fan favorite, and then he missed final 3 again. It was time.
* I could have done with way less idiotic Twitter reading. We need fewer idiots desperate for the outside validation that comes with being fleetingly acknowledged by famous people; this is pandering at its worst.
* Cochran. How do I even begin to describe Cochran? As soon as he won that last immunity, he won the game. I really did think Dawn would get at least one sympathy vote - now I'm really sad that Malcolm came in planning to vote for her but had his mind changed - but I am so happy with everything he pulled off. So happy. He has the best story ever. (also, I am unsure why he was back to wearing glasses at the end. He has thoroughly accomplished "hot nerd" with them on, but with them off it's like a whole new ball game)
Overall: this season was one of the worst until Phillip left, and then it revved up its game and became one of the more exciting ones instead, so ultimately I'd say it was very middle-of-the-pack.
Aside from that, I left the internet for 36 hours and came back to find the pre-upfronts cancellation bloodbath in full swing. AXES EVERYWHERE! I was in total shock to see that Go On won't, until I investigated with that highly tactical tool Wikipedia to see its ratings had been cut 33% after Christmas, and kept sliding down until they were averaging around and under 3 million viewers by the last few weeks. I wish I'd been paying attention, because THAT SHOW IS NOT READY TO BE OVER, SORRY, IT'S JUST NOT. The Mindy Project is an example of a show that had a cute little run but is ready to be over with no ill effects. (So of course that's the only new comedy coming back. I'm happy for Kaling, but not as a viewer.)
CSI: NY is apparently over too. Sighing that Grey's Anatomy won the 2004-2005 Last Show Standing crown after all, but otherwise I can't really have feelings about it until I get around to watching this season. Which I am totally looking forward to this summer.
Pretty excited to see Whitney go down, but pretty WTF??? about Community, which honestly, I don't even understand its renewal, no matter how massive its social media credit rating. What is season 5 even going to look like?
Also super excited to watch The New Normal die. That's another one I just assumed had staying power, but HAHAHA NOPE. Granted, this just gives Ryan Murphy license to focus on his newer and far more horrible show, and my Tumblr was mercifully TNN-free once I blacklisted the show title, but any day I saw Andrew Rannells' face was automatically a worse day. So I am glad that little experiment is over and done with.