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I love how I've got more shows now in the The Vault as I do actively airing, yet I can't concentrate on any of those shows until I kick all the straggling episodes of the current shows out the door, and they're taking FOREVER. Speaking of scheduling -- I love that this year I didn't even pay attention to upfronts as they pertain to new shows. I haven't finished processing last year's upfronts. I have no time for anything, even with the number of canceled shows I'll be culling once I get through their most recent season's runs* (and oh, I shiver with anticipatory glee at how small my stable might have become by then).
*I'm afraid to even count how many episodes that equals. *peeks through fingers* Basically full seasons of Castle, CSI: NY, Grey's Anatomy, possibly Law & Order: SVU, and the equivalent of half seasons of The Office, Private Practice, Community, CSI and Smash.


2 Broke Girls 2x23-24
The Tip Slip: No. Gross. Avoid it all costs unless you manage to catch the fake-massage scene - that part amused me without being too gross.

Window of Opportunity (finale): I feel like I cringed a whole bunch, but I enjoyed the health inspector at the beginning, and the Lord of the Things walking around their indoor sale with a parrot (also, I want to go to that sale, although I'd probably bring 2 or 3 imposing friends before I entered a random stranger's apartment in New York City). Chestnut wearing a hat was the best.

I'm disturbed that Sophie was able to break Max's McDonald's toys just by throwing them on the floor. I don't think toys intended for ages 3-10 are supposed to do that. They should sue McDonald's for theoretical child endangerment.

I'm glad we got one more epic fight between them before the season's end (they really know how to cut each other to ribbons when it counts. It seems like it should be damaging, and yet I always believe them when they make up so easily), with a little bonus life-threatening electrocution. Aww, the sweetness. And I really like the idea of a walk-up cupcake window, complete with shutters. That'll be cute.

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The Middle, 4x22-24
Hallelujah Hoedown: well, that was a sad way to break up Axl and Cassidy. Can't we have this conversation in 3 weeks? I'm fine with having this conversation in 3 weeks! No? OK, fine, I will let you have your emotional sucker punch. Well done. Also, laughing forever at Sue's fits of jealous rage. Smiling at getting a horseback hitch to the DMV. Still trying to shake that vague pervert vibe I get from Reverend Tim Tom, because if ever there was a character I could understand manipulating someone into abuse without overt force or malice, it is him (PLEASE DO NOT INVOKE RULE 34, INTERNET. Also I am ashamed of myself for letting society corrupt my brain like that; he is obviously supposed to be wonderful and completely non-threatening in his cheesiness).

Meanwhile, the unsuccessful hunt for the perfect Mother's Day gift nicely rounded out the C-plot. Frankie's ultimate outrage was great. Though I must point out, in the whole WHO WEARS YELLOW PANTS department...well, his initials are B.A.

Example 1 of 19

The Ditch: Oh, how I cracked up at Sue's Horrible, No-Good, Very-Bad (Unsanctioned) Ditch Day, but watching her frantically stuffing a salsa-stained comforter in the taped-together washing machine was probably the best part. (in other news, I am now snacking on chips and salsa as I kick back with TV and it's this show's fault for making it look so appealing. Also goldfish crackers, without salsa, in the interest of preserving cheerful memories.)

Also loved the father/son bonding experience, and how despite Axl's incessant bouts of glee in reminding his father how he totally caught him trying to check out hot girls in bikinis, they ended on a very nice, mature moment where they're almost like two adults talking.

Brick's conversation with the psychologist was cute/entertaining too -- especially watching the latter exhaust himself with special counselor tricks until he tried the most obvious one by accident: just asking Brick why he doesn't want to start middle school. (I'll tell you why I don't want him to start middle school -- I'm not prepared for that! Half the time I still think of Sue being there! But I really appreciate that this show has lasted long enough to show everyone growing up)

The only thing I didn't enjoy was the excruciating secondhand embarrassment from Frankie's House of Lies. Lies of omission are OK...the other kind are not.

The Graduation: Not sure what made me laugh hardest - Sue's triumphant acquisition of a driver's license at long last, or Frankie literally wrestling Axl to the ground to forcibly change him into appropriately-colored socks. But my very favorite part was probably Cassidy's graduation speech, and that nonverbal letting go and release of any hard feelings between her and Axl. A sweet parting touch.

~~~~~~~
Aaaaand Criminal Minds:
Brothers Hotchner: It is possible I will have nightmares about that child watching blood pour from her parents' eyes and other facial orifices at the dinner table. THAT IS A SPECIAL LEVEL OF HORRIFYING, SHOW. Beyond that, I am unclear why the brother was arrested at the end - was he being blamed for unwittingly causing more deaths for selling poisoned wine he didn't know was poisoned/tampered with? It really seems like at most he should be charged with theft of the value of the wine. But like I said, I have no idea what happened because I was bored to tears and busy reading. I didn't perk up until the psycho was creeping into Erin Strauss's room. And then I felt bad that CBS mucked up scheduling so that these episodes aired back to back instead of adding a week of suspense and speculation like the showrunners intended.
----
The Replicator: So there was no way to know who the title stalker was before now, right? No clues to put together, he was just introduced this time around? Good, I prefer it that way. Also, were we supposed to know that Rossi and Strauss were in a relationship for the last year?? Season-long arcs are confusing when you've only been around for half the season.

Pardon me while I mourn for like half a second. I would mourn a lot longer, but I am so darn happy Blake isn't dead that I feel like I should be willing to sacrifice anyone who is not Reid to ensure her safety. Which is not to say I didn't squawk indignantly and flap my wrists in shock and outrage, even though I knew there was going to be both "a target and a victim." I just thought the Extra Dramatic Death Scene, which could have turned out very cheesy and still tap-danced on the line, was very emotional and well done.
Voice: Yeah, I remember how you were all pragmatic about Maeve's well done death scene too. Let's wait 24 hours and see how you feel.
RS: Oh, trust me, show me like 4 more episodes she's in and I'll be ranting and shaking my fists at the sky.

All in all, very exciting finale, all the suspense and high stakes that a good CM episode should have. I also really like Garcia freaking out about her hacked system, and of course the helicopter override and the pressure sensor bomb.

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