RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Public Service Announcement:

Guys guys guys, SIBERIA. Are you watching Siberia? YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING SIBERIA. I didn't know it existed until a few days ago, but they are not lying when they say it is the literal lovechild of Survivor and Lost, except in a setting that will eventually be cold instead of tropical. Specifically, in the Tunguska region. Soooo much creepy and/or terrifying stuff. It has like 97 new twists each episode, and is zero percent boring. Zero percent! I just watched all 3 aired episodes in a row and am absolutely frothing for more.

GO WATCH IT SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. I have not been this insanely excited about a new show since Terra Nova. This is better than Terra Nova. It's also way better than Under the Dome, which I've been regularly watching and still enjoying in a casual way, but it doesn't even compare. Oh, and its people run a Tumblr full of .gifs and macros with sassy tags.

Here is a partial list of my favorite things so far:
[spoilers! Like you really should NOT read this unless you have already watched it.]* the way it is filmed exactly in Survivor's style, including the opening credits, and how I just keep marveling at the skill it takes to act like you're not acting - your speech sounds so much less polished, even if you prepare what you're going to say and edit out the "ummm"s.
* contestant dying in the first epsiode (actual reason I watched it)
* they're living in recreated old-timey cabins
* mysterious huge tracks, which match the feet on a rock etching of people hunting a monster with spears
* suddenly, a wild tiger appears!
* aaaand something ripped the tiger to ribbons
* a random speaker on the middle of the woods
* a summoning horn that sounds like a terrifying alarm every single time
* a poisoned/hallucinating contestant solemnly informing another player she's had a vision they're all going to die if they don't leave (followed by "lol bye can't talk now, quitting the game")
* this is not a favorite, exactly, but good lord, that dead deer was gruesome. I didn't know network TV could get that gruesome.

* I told myself not to get attached to characters or anything because characters aren't the point of a show like this. It wasn't a problem at first, but damn it, I should know how Survivor works. By episode 3, you start taking a shine to certain people and at episode 4 you're all in. So I am super attached to the bashful possibilities of Daniel (who is from Minnesota!)/Irene. Assume one or both will die horribly soon
* I was also really fond of Victoria, and had all these great plans for how she and Natalie were going to become BFFs. (AU fanfic time??)
* Esther is clearly Elizabeth Hurley's cousin, right?
* Oh my god, Country Boy, you and your stupid schoolboy crush may be the death of me. Why can't I hate you?? Is it because you're the Sawyer of Siberia? I hope so.
* Neeko is sort of charming  as the leader, it turns out.
* Sabina is a badass. She reminds me of a panther, stealthy and observant and obscenely clever.
* I would like Miljan to be eaten by the monster ASAP

I'M SORRY, I'M STILL JUST FLAILING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SHOW. It's kind of like how I felt about Harper's Island two summers ago. But more intense.


P.S. Emmys! I feel like I can talk about the noms this year because GLEE GOT ITS HAT IN THE DIRECTING RING, AW YEAH! It has no chance of winning, but at least I can be excited about its first-and-only good nomination since season 2.

As always, my picks in bold and I don't have the heart to think about who I wish was on the lists, because I would legitimately replace 95% of these names.

Outstanding Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory
Modern Family
30 Rock

CRUSH THEM ALL IN YOUR METAPHORICALLY IRON FIST, BOSSYPANTS. But I will accept BBT in its stead. Or at least Veep. Please God, not the other three.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

OK, first of all, who or what is Enlightened and why don't I know it exists?? Second of all, CRUSH THEM IN YOUR METAPHORICALLY IRON FIST AGAIN, BOSSYPANTS! (no but really. I am desperate for Tina Fey to take this because Liz Lemon is wonderful, nobody else except Julia is even funny, and Liz Lemon is funny with less swearing).

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Louis C.K., Louie
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

*shrugs* The show rose from the dead, and he helped bring it to life. (also everyone else and/or their show bores me)

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Jane Lynch, Glee
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Alternate option is Mayim; no one else need apply. But Jane legitimately deserves it; she cracks me up. And it took a long time to win me over with my predisposed hatred towards all non-Liz-Lemon characters on that show.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Adam Driver, Girls
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O'Neill, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live
Tony Hale, Veep

I adore his face and I will adore it forever, the end.

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Bob Newhart, The Big Bang Theory
Nathan Lane, Modern Family
Bobby Cannavale, Nurse Jackie
Louis C.K., Saturday Night Live
Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live
Will Forte, 30 Rock

I really don't like any options here, but he's pretty good at playing slightly-unhinged.

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Molly Shannon, Enlightened
Dot-Marie Jones, Glee
Melissa Leo, Louie
Melissa McCarthy, Saturday Night Live
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock

I just assume that Melissa deserves all the awards ever, because she does. (also seriously wtf at Dot-Marie Jones, 10x more confusing this year than last)

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series

    30 Rock - Jack Burditt & Robert Carlock for "Hogcock!"
    30 Rock - Tina Fey & Tracey Wigfield for "Last Lunch"
    Episodes - David Crane & Jeffrey Klarik for "Episode Nine"
    Louie - Pamela Adlon & Louis C.K. for "Daddy's Girlfriend Part 1"
The Office - Greg Daniels for "Finale"

I haven't even seen it yet, but OBVIOUSLY. 30 Rock is allowed to accept in its stead, but preferably not.

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series

    30 Rock: "Hogcock! / Last Lunch" – Beth McCarthy-Miller (NBC)
    Girls: "On All Fours" – Lena Dunham (HBO)
Glee: "Diva" – Paris Barclay (FOX)
    Louie: "New Year's Eve" – Louis C.K. (FX)
    Modern Family: "Arrested" – Gail Mancuso (ABC)

I DO NOT HAVE WORDS FOR THE AMOUNT OF IMPORTANT IT IS THAT GLEE WINS THIS. Fantastic numbers (which I assume involve directing), fantastic storylines everywhere, IT'S JUST FANTASTIC.

Outstanding Drama Series
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
House of Cards
Mad Men

Oh. This story again.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Claire Danes, Homeland
Robin Wright, House of Cards
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Connie Britton, Nashville
Kerry Washington, Scandal

I haven't even seen the show outside of a 3-minute preview and I still know she's the best. Also, NEW BLOOD, I LIKE IT!

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Hugh Bonneville, Downtown Abbey
Damian Lewis, Homeland
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom

This option offends me least.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Emilia Clarke, Game of Throne
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Morena Baccarin, Homeland
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

Once again, this is the best category of the entire collection. Maggie Smith is untouchable queen, but I like every choice except Anna Gunn. Nothing from Breaking Bad is worth a second look.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire
Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Jim Carter, Downtown Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

Sometimes I crack a smile when I see gifsets with him in them.

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Nathan Lane, The Good Wife
Michael J. Fox, The Good Wife
Rupert Friend, Homeland
Robert Morse, Mad Men
Harry Hamlin, Mad Men
Dan Bucatinsky, Scandal

Always. (and because I've actually seen him in this role, and it's good)

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Margo Martindale, The Americans
Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones
Carrie Preston, The Good Wife
Linda Cardellini, Mad Men
Jane Fonda, The Newsroom
Joan Cusack, Shameless

I'm going to pretend it's for her guest appearance on "Smash" instead.

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series
George Mastras, Breaking Bad
Thomas Schnauz, Breaking Bad
Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, Game of Thrones
Henry Bromell, Homeland

I'm too lazy to try and look up any more details lazy US Weekly left off. I'm just going to say that GoT is ""The Rains of Castamere," and since even a layperson like me knows that's the Red Wedding where everyone flipped their lid and it went way beyond the realm of just people who watch the show...

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series
Tim Van Patten, Boardwalk Empire
Michelle MacLaren, Breaking Bad
Jeremy Webb, Downton Abbey
Lesli Linka Glatter, Homeland
David Fincher, House of Cards

This is the show I don't hate, so it probably looks the nicest. (you know what is actually visually appealing, though? Smash. But of shows that Emmy voters watch? Game of Thrones. Like in a way where it deserves recognition).

Tags: emmys, siberia, tv commentary

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