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I'm here! No I'm not!

Ohhhhh, my god, I am in such a rage over work refusing to EVER END that I literally have no time to LJ, because when my brain finally overheats and shuts down, it is unable to do anything more effort-requiring than play Neopets or hate-browse tags on Tumblr (nothing angries up the blood quite like "cissexism"). Or once in a while I manage to go socialize (2 dates since I last checked in, plus a family thing). THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DO FROM SUNUP TO SUNDOWN.

But there are specific episodes I really really really wanted to talk about, so...I'm going to. with truly excessive amounts of capslock.

Under The Dome, 1x06
First of all, I was really super into the whole looting aspect. Always makes for exciting television. Is Barbie kicking ass and taking names in the meantime? Yes? Then I'm definitely on board. (my respect levels for him may have ratcheted up through the roof after his specific Super Sekrit Military Background came to light in the MOAB episode. in related news, that bomb and the shockingly charred landscape outside was kinda great, plus I'm so happy the creepy reverend is gone)

Also, Linda continues to be awesome as the only legitimate police officer left in town.

Second, it took five long episodes for Angie to be liberated from Bunker Prison, but at last we're here! And...WOW, I did not expect that to happen to Rose. I don't know why, but that murder seemed really, unusually graphic/emotionally disturbing/close to home. Maybe it's because the people murdered on crime shows are usually nameless, and when they're not, they're usually dispatched with something as instant as a bullet. It just seemed really extra horrible to watch her trying to crawl away, already bleeding, and then realize NOPE, THIS IS FOR  REAL & PERMANENT. I would have stood up for myself with a bat too. And I definitely did not expect them to end up killing her - knocking her unconscious was the absolute worst I was expecting.

I literally didn't make the connection until a week later that Angie's waitress uniform = she worked at the diner. I thought she just ran to Rose as a generally familiar face in town; omg, this is even more upsetting now. I'm going to believe they were super close, just to make it hurt worse.

I also kinda liked Norrie & Joe wandering around looking for insulin to steal, and her guilt trip when faced with a kid, but more on this later. (Have I mentioned how happy I am that he offered Norrie and her moms a place to stay, and they agreed to it? I like that the kids are just old enough for this to be euphoria-inducing, but juuuuust probably young enough that you don't have to seriously worry about shenanigans. I mean, you do if your daughter is Norrie, but fortunately it seems like this random farm kid is more trustworthy)

Also, Julia continues to be remarkable and I am really excited for her to talk to Joe and Norrie more. I love Dodie, but Julia is the best. SPEAKING OF WHICH: 510% on board with Julia kissing Barbie in the rain at episode's end there.
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Under the Dome, 1x07
PRAISE HEAVENS ALICE'S ANNOYING FACE IS GONE.

But somewhere along the way I got really fond of Norrie (well, not fond, just "stopped hating"), mostly because Joe likes her and he's cute, and together they are extra-cute with their little 13-year-old romance. (I laughed SO HARD at him trying to stealthily pull on clothes after she barged in on his room uninvited in the morning) The real reason I like them is that it's basically like watching my own relationship. I am not exaggerating in the slightest. That is my shy/awkward/blushing/everything-is-new-and-tantalizing relationship all over the place.

I feel like Ollie should stop smirking at Big Jim and realize that Big Jim could just (and/or the latter just SHOULD) quietly shoot him in the back one of these times. It's not like Linda has cadaver dogs, and there are like a million places to bury a body, even inside a dome. This seems like the one really obvious solution. He seems to have no problem getting people immolated, so...

Also, Junior's big sad "where am I supposed to go?" eyes successfully made me forget all the crazy things he's done and just feel bad for him again. Overgrown puppy in need of love, that's what he looks like. Love and discipline and treatment from a psychiatrist. But mostly love. And treatment. I like when television is smart about casting super-attractive people whose faces override their flaws.

Speaking of super-attractive people, that ship that sprang up less episode. I didn't realize we were going all the way to bed (that's how I roll, world, adults kissing in the rain --> more the same day?? What?? How??), but cool, I'll allow it. I liked that waking-up scene.

Lastly, I cracked right before watching this episode and asked Wikipedia how the book ends, even though I know they said the show is different. I'm holding out hope that this is a lie meant to throw us off the scent - which seems plausible given how this episode ends. The way the book ends sounds SO GREAT! So that's what I'm going to believe about the little mini-dome until told otherwise.

P.S. I am in a kind of quiet rage that this show isn't on the CBS website, which forces me to watch it live, even though Siberia is so much better omg and way more exciting and the kind of thing I want to watch ASAP, but it's less of a hassle to wait for Hulu the next day than try to track UtD down wherever it may temporarily be. Although I suppose it helps, because I'm not motivated to catch up on this show at all - I usually end up waiting almost a week before I get around to it - whereas Siberia is an absolute must-have. Not least because it has The Best Tumblr Ever with the sassiest of tags.
[Sam: You want to learn how to fish?]
[Daniel: Sam, I'm from Minnesota. I'll teach you how to fish.
#sass level Daniel]


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Siberia, 1x05, "What She Said"
I'M NOT EVEN SURE I KNOW HOW TO LIST THE NUMBER OF AWESOME THINGS IN THIS EPISODE. Let me try:

Here are the quick options:

  • Immediately after earning my wrath and ceasing to be my favorite for her Tumblr-personified "lol my sexuality is fluid when faced with options" and otherwise ruining my best-friend times, Natalie mysteriously dropped off the face of the game.

  • LORD OF THE FLIES: DEER VERSION (and set as creepy-bait!)

  • Sabina putting Creeper Miljan in a terrifying and justified choke hold for messing with her stuff

  • Daniel giving Irene a pretty blue rock because to her that's better than flowers (AWW).

  • I like how Daniel is still willing to talk to Carolina, at least. (yes, we're going to refer to her as Carolina forever. I like the Authentic Latin myth I have been sold)

  • Miljan continues to exhibit symptoms of a brain tumor, or rather, is probably possessed by some type of creepy force or evil spirit from time to time

  • Speaking of which, carving up his arm with a knife? (sorry, "homemade tattoo") GROSS.

  • Sabina grabbed a dropped camera! Sabina's in the cave! With all the stuff! Including the bullets. Sabina is the absolute best, not even a question, absolutely my favorite right now.

  • Creepily mysterious/vanishing blonde girl!

  • Esther, Wicked Witch of Siberia x2000! (I love how literally the entire world, viewing audience included, believed her remorse because we've been conditioned to think there is no reason to lie about such a thing for any reason. PSYCH.)

  • THE BUTTON IS FAKE/DISCONNECTED OMG

  • DESERTED BASE CAMP OMG (srsly, that's terrifying)

  • SABINA FINDING A SKELETON IN THE WOODS THAT IS WEARING A COPY OF HER LOCKET WITH THE SAME PHOTOGRAPH OF (HER SON?) INSIDE. SUPER AWESOME CHILLING HORROR FACTOR: TOO HIGH TO COUNT.

  • Also...Irene getting hurt and Daniel fretting nervously, because oopsy-daisy, it looks like someone found my favorite trope in its rarest form and made it work!

I'm pretty sure we've been over, a time or twenty, how secretly fond I am of the whole "injured in the middle of nowhere without medical attention or sufficient supplies." I prefer when you have semi-sufficient supplies and can eventually get help so the injured people don't actually die of infection, but right now, this is just a big birthday cake. Even if they're not in a state of mutual or mutually admitted liking yet (you know what makes that move faster? Hurt/comfort. just saying), he did plenty without going overboard. Although I did chuckle at him trying to be there to just hold her hand while Johnny's like "stay the f*ck out of my way while I actually help her." (in related news, did Johnny just get hotter? Like...a lot hotter?)

Also lol at him whipping off his shirt to wrap around the wound, which I shouldn't laugh at because it was actually the most useful piece of fabric available, but...lol, how often is that true?

This is a great .gif reaction post to the episode, by the way: voila!

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Siberia, 1x06
ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH DANIEL'S BACKSTORY RIGHT NOW. Show! My brain is not equipped to handle two favorite tropes happening to the same person. (paraphrased: "my girlfriend and I were walking at night and we were mugged. All I remember hearing is 'run.' She had been stabbed 6 times." Cue guilt. Those mean streets of Minneapolis, they'll get ya every time.)

For the sake of my sanity I'm going to pretend that possessed!Miljan was merely chanting some sort of creepy curse over Irene's inert form.

In other news:
-Blooood! Blood everywhere.
-Mysterious Russian diary read, no less mysterious!
-The Revealer is an automated clockwork machine (of course it is), and Test Group C
-THE VALLEYMEN
-HOLY CRATER OF DEVASTATION. I am so excited for them to go beyond the place where the light touches. The suspense just may kill me.

Although I wish they would stop with the idiotic song montages at the end, because it really takes me out of both the reality-show format and the possibility that we're meant to be watching in real time and not actually as a finished product...somehow.

Up next: OMFG WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT.
P.S. Secondary favorite thing about this show is that its following is just small enough that I can actually read all the Tumblr responses to it the day after, which is fun. We're an enlightened bunch. If you don't think this is the greatest show of the summer - without any apologies for it being "cheesy" or some such nonsense because no, it is genuinely brilliant - I'm sorry for your unenlightened state of mind.
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All right, back to slavin'.

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