A hate crime leaves Blaine [brain] damaged and Kurt refuses to let it bring them down.
Once upon a time in August, Glee fandom did a really cool thing whereby if you donated $25 to The Box Scene Project's charity, you were eligible to receive a novel length bound-and-printed paperback fanfic from a selection of fantastic authors. Who doesn't dream of holding their favorite fics in book form, I ask you? And while most of them held no interest for me, one of them was my beloved Lovesong. I hesitated for 24 hours and took the plunge. Due to various screw-ups, I did not receive my book 2 months ago like everyone else in the U.S. did and thus have not squeed about it, but no matter. It's here now.
Of course, I just remembered that this story is NC-17, which I forget since I skip all the explicit scenes, so nobody in real life is allowed to look at this book and share in my joy. But still - I am so excited to have this brilliant piece of fandom merchandise.
Meanwhile, it is absolutely high time I got back to television, now that work has been more or less vanquished for the rest of the month (only minimal assignments remain).
How I Met Your Mother, 9x13, "Bass Player Wanted"
Could we perhaps use the fire lit within Demon Andrew Ranell's eye to light him on fire and burn him out of existence? No one is to ever hire that deranged face again unless it's Broadway, where I won't see it. And that's all I have to say about that. Well, except, can I borrow a little bit of the leftover flame to singe Ted's arm for his obnoxious Robin obsession? Not only does this harm Barney/Robin, it digs at Ted/Mrs. Mosby. She deserves better.
I did enjoy when she was on screen. And I really loved Lily taking out of her frustrations on Marshpillow, and the look on Marshall's face when he saw her was the most wonderful and devastating thing. So was Lily's face; Hannigan should be commended for her ability to show 87 different emotions at once. I wouldn't even be able to imagine how to play that response.
ALSO: THAT GLORIOUS ENDING. "Oh god it's the fourth slap Idon'tknowwhyIwassobnoxious!" Laughin' my way all through the long break.
P.S. I would like to register my disgust that this show is shuffling off early at the lousy end of March. Since I am no longer that invested in it, you'd think I'd be happy to have an obligation string cut, but I really would have preferred a few more breaks to this frenetic pace. It's an old veteran and it deserves the respect of May sweeps to say goodbye.
2 Broke Girls and the French Kiss
Blahhhh. I hate pastry school. It looks so pretty and lures you in with its promise of a brighter future, but that brochure was full of pastry school LIES. It gets you invested and then it dumps you off with a criminally boring and neurotic secretary, Giles Marini, and the main offender, Goofus the Doofus. Result: an exhausting tread of sameness.
Oh...and also, Survivor ended.
What had been a fairly strong season kind of crashed and burned in the final hour.
Good first: I love how Hayden almost double-talked his way into pulling Monica over, and how ridiculously hard he fought. That is how you go down swinging. I really didn't think this was possible, but he turned out not to be such a bad guy after all. Unless he got a soft edit? Was he terrible on Big Brother? I always assume that anyone who was on Big Brother is the skankiest trash out there, and he certainly had Douche Bro written all over him, but he seems more like a pretty normal guy. You wouldn't date that guy, and you probably wouldn't choose him for a friend, but you could certainly hang out with him. I kinda got a kick out of his "Katie looks hot!" observation despite the fact that a) douchey thing to say when you have a girlfriend, and b) way to be that lame guy who equates makeup with magical hotness.
Kinda sad when Katie lost the first Redemption Island challenge, mostly because this made everyone online talk about how useless she was and how they don't like her, which is just super upsetting, because after Candice she was the person I wanted to win most. How you play the game is irrelevant unless needed as a tiebreaker -- I judge worthy winners based on how likable they are as people. But I did like how Tina wasn't afraid to keep going.
Ciera winning the immunity challenge right when she needed? Amazing. And Reunion Jeff's right, that is how you play the game -- I was so impressed with her fighting to get higher than 4th, I don't even think she made a bad move by going for it and ending up 5th. She really did everything possible trying to make a name for herself, yet everything that could possibly go wrong did.
Laura losing the last challenge was almost as sad as John losing it at the last second -- but not that sad, because Tina was amazing, rock-solid-awesome. The sheer amount of concentration in her True Grit face reminded me why I love her all over again.
Then came Final Challenge Day, and there was no way Tina was ever going to win that setup -- fun as it was -- against three people with crazy athletic bodies of pure muscle and energy. But bless her dedication to trying, especially those gutsy kangaroo hops across the net. That was delightful.
After she was voted out, all I can say for the finale is that at least they didn't do March of the Dead Survivors. But oi, those choices were AWFUL. At this point I wanted Gervase to win just because he was the most likable. Monica's whining and stubborn bullheaded refusal to be swayed (but mostly her whining and her shrill voice and her obsessive "BUT HOW SHOULD WE VOTE??" scrambling) got under my nerves. Her challenge strength was enough to make me keep her as a backup, but still not a great choice. And not Tyson. NEVER Tyson, that horrible freak. Not after half a maddening season of everyone trying every conceivable plot to topple him -- everyone knew he was an obnoxious kingpin! Everyone kept trying to stop him, once Aras was gone! -- and yet somehow every single one fell through. That angers me.
My favorite parts of the reunion show were...you know, I'm not actually sure I liked anything the people on stage said other than maybe Laura & Ciera's mother-daughter bonds, and Katie & Tina being very impressive women and me being really, really sad at their awful family loss.
Actually, Kat and her weirdly faux-self-deprecating "I got a boob job! LOL I know, it's so crazy!!" comments, acting like everyone was curious when actually I'm pretty sure no one even noticed, were so weird that it might have actually been my other favorite thing the players said.
Of course, the actual best part of the reunion was that truly awesome sketch with Cochran...
P.S. I cannot fault The Millers anymore now that I know Cochran is writing for them. Too great.