RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

"Possiblity #1, 12 Years a Slave wins Best Picture. Possibility #2, you're all racists."

Yesterday I got sick both of dealing with work and of being tired all the time, so I skipped my walk and spent the whole day, starting about 1 PM, in bed. It was pretty great. I read two books, watched the Taylor Swift "Speak Now" tour DVD (which was also pretty great, although from now until the day I die I will never understand why people insist on nonstop screaming at these things), and then tried to settle myself in for the Oscars this year, because even though at least half the films nominated for Best Picture (and subsequently most of the awards) are films I do not have an interest in seeing, Ellen DeGeneres is hosting and I love her.

But it was super boring, so mostly I read another book. Gravity winning all the things did not help, even though it probably deserved some technical awards at least. After fully 3.5 hours, they still had not announced Outstanding Actor, Actress, or Best Picture, and I fell asleep just as they announced Director. I never knew there were this many boring awards, although at least sometimes they showed films that looked more interesting than the Best Pic noms, like The Great Gatsby, The Book Thief (a movie which seems to have had zero promotion), and even Inside Llewyn Davis, which I still do not want to see, but I enjoy watching clips of it in an awards show context, unlike the frickin' Wolf of Wall Street.

(in related news, how come when it first came out, social-justice types were rightfully declaring it absolutely sleaze and scumbag material, but then suddenly everyone was calling it a good movie? Like it legitimately was being described as a bad movie and I just do not understand how it is getting acclaim. I imagine it's much the way I do not understand how Jonah Hill has Oscar noms, given that he is roughly as funny and talented as Adam Sandler.)

Honestly, I think the only things I actually liked were the opening monologue, the selfies Ellen was snapping with celebs (Meryl Streep being in excellent good humor tonight), Great Gatsby taking home some production awards, American Hustle getting shut out, and Lupita winning (although I do not get why everyone is so nuts about her fashion choices -- that red cape thing looked like some sort of bizarre armor, and the cut of her dress did absolutely nothing for her figure and actually just made her chest look sunken in the middle and created an emaciated look, though the color was pretty),

The pizza thing was weird. Did we not learn this lesson at the Grammys? It is gross to present elegantly-dressed people with greasy food on camera.

Weird and horrifying, on the other hand, are terms I would use to describe Benedict Cumberbatch's face. He is an astoundingly ugly man, and I say this without apology or shame because I have just genuinely never seen anything like it in Hollywood OR real life. I feel like this is an Emperor's New Clothes situation -- sure some people say it, but on the other hand, people continue to give him work and there is this wild fandom fanclub that is actually swooning over him. HOW? WHAT ARE YOU SEEING, HOW DOES YOUR BRAIN PROCESS.

I did not like the performance of Let It Go. I love the lyrics and the melody, but even the studio version from Idina sounded yowly and scratchy, turning me off immediately, and the live version was in no way better. I sought out better options back in January and quickly found myself forever wedded to the much cleaner-sounding Demi Lovato version, to spoil you on the first song of The Music of 2014. (whatever, at least it's all in the Glee extended family)

Nor did I enjoy the weird "heroes" theme.

The biggest surprise of the night for me was finding out that Dallas Buyers Club is not actually the story of a trans woman's self-discovery while becoming mixed up in a high-end escort/prostitution ring perpetuated in seedy nightclubs. Because that is definitely the story I gleaned from all the media attention on Jared Leto.

2013 Movies I Still Want To See:
-The Lone Ranger. I wanted to see this in theaters, but I couldn't find the time to go. Still mad.

-Captain Phillips: I have been wanting to see this since I don't know how long. Not in theaters, necessarily, but I think it will be a really great action film without being a cheesy Action Film.

-Philomena: Just looks really wonderful all around, just the sort of movie I want to see.

-12 Years a Slave: maybe. It's really hard to maintain an open-minded feeling in the face of oppressive ALL WILL APPRECIATE THIS OR PERISH, but I do think it looks interesting.

-Nebraska?: Chris thinks I would really like this. I saw it at the show tonight and went "what the damn hell is this black and white nonsense." I am a pretty big fan of the old lady from her commercial work -- and I still think it's hilarious that it a cell phone commercial? is running with her in a very average "dotty grandma" role) while she's nominated for an Oscar -- but I don't know if I can sit through a whole film of black and white. It makes me feel half blind and exceedingly frustrated as a result. That was one of things I disliked about Much Ado About Nothing, Whedon version.

-Frozen. Ten years from now, after Tumblr has stopped obsessively a) posting .gifs that ruin all the intrigue, and b) obsessing about how it is racist, sexist, or otherwise somehow A Problematic Thing We Should All Get Really Angry About. Before any of that popped up, I was actually really excited to see this movie, and it just might be the first digitally animated/non-2D movie I have genuinely 100% WANTED to see. Brave came close, but even that was more like, "I feel I would not strongly detest this, because at least there's an awesome horse." Frozen wasn't just a movie that looked good "for a kids movie," it was a movie that looked good.
Tags: award shows

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