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"Lord, give me strength and Photoshop."

This weekend has been awful and crazy and ugggghhhh, but right now, we're gonna take a break from all that and talk about Fandom March Madness. My investment has lessened each year -- to quote Bart Simpson with a handwave, "It's gotten too commercial." I didn't even have time to make up a fantasy office pool, much less submit an official one -- I barely have time to vote each day -- and I don't know if I have any strong feelings at the outset besides "god damn it, Glee has at least 27 pretty decent characters, and yet you have voted in Santana as our representative. Again."

HOWEVER: as of now, I am rallying super hard for Dan Humphrey, because due to my never having watched season 6 and therefore accepting none of it as canon, the series finale was definitely some of the most glorious crack that has ever graced television, and I am basking in/cackling over glorious creations like these:
(lbr, the original is just pretty much the most glorious .gif that exists, period)

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Other beautiful things about this tournament so far:1. Reign is represent! Probably mostly because there aren't enough teen shows on the air. And Mary's getting crushed. But isn't this poster beautiful? Don't you feel bad about voting for a freaking cartoon over this elegance?

longmayshereign
1.5. Honestly, all the campaign posters are really beautifully styled this year. A+ work, y'all.

2. This is a beautiful, appropriately capslocked post for one Mrs. Pamela Morgan Beesly Halpert, who is also not long for this campaign because Kelly Kapoor's alter-ego is unsurprisingly way ahead.

3. I am learning various things about Teen Wolf. Namely, as was pointed out to me briefly earlier this summer before I forgot, the main character is apparently some guy named Scott. (Over in Klaine Fandom, the only thing you ever hear about is Derek/Stiles, to the point that for literally a year I thought they were a canon relationship.) More importantly, he's apparently like the sweetest and most fantastic character ever? One quote was "this show is basically about who loves Scott the most." (again, news to me) Plus he has a much more fantastic face than either of the two aforementioned people, so this is good news about the personality.

4. Winston is pretty much the only character I like on New Girl, so I am already happy he's the rep, BUT THEN. Then somebody posted this post about him and a cat named Ferguson. GUYS. GUYS! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE ON DUMB SHOWS HAVE PETS. That should be your number 1 priority when discussing a new show on your journal. "So I was watching an episode of that new show last night, and GUESS WHAT? He has a cat!" In related news: the 2 Broke Girls have both a horse and a cat now, in case you need the same from me.

5. Speaking of that, DID YOU KNOW there are multiple dogs on Hannibal? But one them in particular is this beautiful big mixed breed named Winston who apparently gets cuddled up by Hugh Dancy quite often. I am officially declaring Hannibal the show with the title of Most Wasted Vehicle for Awesome Character -- a title long held by 2 Broke Girls and Max Black -- because the title character is super fug and I've heard (and seen a few images to convince me) that it's just disgustingly graphic despite being a network show. And yet at the same time, you have Hugh Dancy being freaking adorable -- his face! The curls! His frequently woebegone expression that makes you want to cuddle the hell out of him -- AND OWNING A BUNCH OF DOGS. If anyone ever tells me he has a caring and pretty lady friend on top of that, I might cry.

6. I've never seen The Walking Dead and I never will because zombies are both gross and dumb, but MAN. There's a gal named Michonne on it, I guess, who looks like the #1 BAMF/HBIC of all time. I want to look at all the .gifsets that don't involve her slaughtering people/zombies. She reminds me of an even tougher version of Mira on Terra Nova, or someone who would fit right in with Revolution.

7. I have a strong suspicion I will be grudge-voting against ScarJo's face a lot. I mean, I don't like her character either because I want to crush every superhero underneath the heel of my boot. I just can't decide which side of the hate is greater.

8. AW MAN I love that Molly Hooper is the Sherlock rep. It's just -- my joy cannot be contained that it's neither of the main guys. I don't even know who she is, I'm voting solely on the fact that her name is fun to say, and also she's neither Benedict Cumberbatch nor Martin Freeman and I want to reward that choice. Although I did just look her up to see what she looks like, and YEAH! She's a pretty young thing. Desire to vote for her has just tripled. TBH I was kind of thinking of her as a middle aged woman before. Possibly Molly Weasley.

9. This is the same premise I'm using to vote Felicity Smoak from Arrow, except I know she's younger, because I mean -- THAT NAME. (*looks her up* oh wow. That is a very pretty woman.)

10. Based on what I've read lately, I think I would really intensely dislike Fiona Gallagher from Shameless at this point. Lucky for me, I am using special fandom goggles whereby I take the fact that Emmy Rossum is one of the prettiest women in existence, my knowledge from the show's premise that she is a young adult left to raise her younger siblings alone (because people are in jail, I think?) and was at least originally supposed to be someone smart with a good plan for the future, and just create my own story where she works super hard at multiple legal jobs to make ends meet and just...is awesome.

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Lastly, Chris came over for a few minutes to cheer me up tonight, and he brought me Diet Coke to try and make me feel better. (Now, what you need to know for this joke to work is that my mom used to be pretty much addicted to Diet Coke, then read a lot of horror stories online about how bad/addictive it is -- Coke specifically -- and successfully quit, with no desire to ever drink it again. She claims it doesn't bother her that I still drink it, since I don't drink as much). My mom later said, "I saw you put something in the cupboard. What did he bring you?"
Me, very cheerfully: "The devil's brew."

As this is pretty much an accurate assessment of her feelings about it, she understood what I meant right away.

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