All righty then. I spent the rest of my Tuesday night slowly losing my mind and spiraling into upset sobbing, but had so much work that I had to just say up and keep going without sleep until 4 pm to get it all done. Wednesday disappeared into oblivion when I inevitably crashed and slept for 14 hours at that point. And since then I've pretty much been either working or sleeping or doing other things nonstop in stubborn refusal to think about any of it. I am more hurt than I was, and it feels worrisomely closer to real, but if I can just stay isolated and distant and apply this numbing agent every so often, maybe I can survive. (it is going to be a long television year)

In the meantime, I bring you this delightful excerpt from my 19-year-old Self's journal. I call it "Rainbow Stevie (That Chick's Awesome)":

Seriously, whilst I still have some semblance of summer, I should set up one of my superb solo Saturday...soir...shindigs! (how's that for alliteratation?) There can be Diet Coke and pretzels (made famous by that one 7th grade night of sleep loss), but more importantly, SAT practice tests for fun...and board games like Monopoloy, Mancala, Scrabble and Yahtzee. I could maybe watch a movie, but tonight my focus is on taping CSI so I can rantview it. Maybe I'll pull out the Littlest Pet Shops and play around with those. Maybe I should update my scrapbooks right now, before it's dark. So many possibilities! How do people get bored, again?

Subtitle:  Ironclad Proof Of My Right To Judge Drunk College Students