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The Music of 2014: Quarter 3?

I don't know why I'm bothering with this post. In the past three months I have literally found only 6 new songs -- spoiler alert, 2 of them are Rediscovered Glee and 2 of them are just crazy things off TV -- and then there's a CD I kinda like. I don't know what went wrong in July, but I've spent basically all my time since the Irish Fair listening to old Celtic CDs, which don't qualify because they aren't new to me, but maybe someday we will have a post about those.


July

40. Glee Cast (Blake Jenner/Alex Newell) – Bitch is Back/Dress You Up
I sell my soul by dropping names
I accidentally stumbled across a rerun in the middle of this number. Holy hell, instant catchiness, plus MOAR RYDER is always appreciated. If you don't know the song, it kind of sounds like he's calling Unique a bitch, which I of course imagine every time.

41. Glee Cast – Closer
The doors are open and the wind is really blowing
The night sky is changing overhead


Speaking of that rerun... The only reason I ever shunned this song was because it looked like a heavy Jake feature and also the song had already been ruined by Douche Bro singing it in the shower. How was I supposed to know it would be a happy full-group number, and also feature a Ryder lead?? Turns out it's hard to find meaningful lyrics I don't hate in it. But too late! I have deemed it joyous in an innocent way.

August
42. The Ass Crack Bandit Song
Twenty-five cents at a time, he's taking our souls

Don't listen too hard for the lyrics. They do make sense, but really, the music is so cool and the style of the video (a/k/a whole episode that the clips are taken from) is so captivating that its bizarre lyrics don't even matter that much. This is the most addictive crack!song I have ever heard, and that's really saying something on top of "Mosbius Designs Has Failed."

43. (I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum
Channing Tatum on the mic, I know you’re kind of confused.
We all be singing out my name, makin' sexual moves


Because apparently the only music I can love now is ridiculous, increasingly trashy stuff produced by TV shows. It's cool, though. Everything about this is sheer crack and awesomeness that I've somehow never heard before now. Channing Tatum is finally officially kind of interesting. Also, who knew that Miley Cyrus had an oddly interesting-sounding singing voice?

September
44. Altan - Island Girl
But don't just cut off your heart, keep it open and sure
Keep it free from hurt and keep an open door


I had eMusic credit to spend so I picked a random one of theirs because it said “girl.” I love the lead singer's voice, and it's very soft and peaceful and springtime-like.

45. Lady - Twerk
I can't even lie, I can't do this when I'm sober

THIS IS NOT A GOOD SONG. I was linked to it from that one user on ONTD who has an image from it as her icon. If you have ever wondered "What is the most ghetto music video in the history of the universe?" the answer is THIS ONE. It's so, so terrible, and the link is actually NSWF/age-restricted on YouTube, probably due to the amount of bare ass gyrating into the camera. It's bad! I am only putting it on here because I need to be taken to task for playing it 25 times yesterday, the human equivalent of Dog Shaming. It gets addictive in its awfulness. Lady's terrible nasal voice is somehow almost as transfixing as the (admittedly talented??) booty-popping strippers behind her.

Now, to recover from that...

46. FULL CD: Phillip Phillips, "The World From the Side of the Moon."
I'm putting it all as one number because there aren't really any other singles I love, but as a whole, I like the complete sound of its midwestern country, which is a term I'm making up for a song that has country-like instrumentation and a heartland theme but less cliche country lyrics and lack of vocal twang. If pressed, I'd say the guitar/banjo twang (hey I only said no vocal twang!) of "Man on the Moon" and the trumpet-laced dance swing of "Get Up, Get Down" might be pack leaders, but there are no fails and every other song has a particular hook or memorable chorus that stands out from the 15 plays I've logged so far in the background of work without bothering to differentiate between track numbers. It's very solid B+ work the whole way through. [note: there are some deluxe editions, but mine just as 12, ending with "So Easy"]

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