But the real reason I'm posting today: "The Season of Satan" has actually done something WONDERFUL that in no way makes up for all the pure garbage it has been spewing into my once beloved native streams, but is currently making me giddy to the point of lunacy every time I see it mentioned so I'm going to make a whole post about it.
I saw a rumor of this over the summer, but now it's real, SAM AND RACHEL ARE APPARENTLY MAKING EYES AT EACH OTHER AND GOING TO SING A DUET IN FRIDAY'S EPISODE, and possibly kissing shortly thereafter. Sam and Rachel, y'all! GO AHEAD, dig through my reviews, I have been shipping those two since prom. The first one. I think about it every time I imagine a hippie love commune, every time he loses a girl or she hooks up with/pines after a loser, and most times in between. As much as I prefer Rachel being single and fabulous, she rarely is. And he's literally the only straight guy who's ever been good enough for her.
I don't even think they'd be a good couple*, I just think he is both hot and nice, and that's more than I can say for anyone else she has ever kissed except Blaine, who is technically less viable as a boyfriend. And she is nicer, prettier AND more intelligent than most of the girls he's hooked up with, so why HAVEN'T they kissed before now, is the real mystery. PLUS, PLUS, now Sam can totally bring up how it's both weird and awesome that he and Blaine have both kissed the same girl, so that makes them kissing cousins or something ("that's not what that means, Sam"), and he can pester Blaine for insights into what makes Rachel tick because they're so much alike, and...now I am projecting way beyond anything the spoilers have promised me.
[*I would be totally happy to be proven wrong. If you can make me ship Brittany/Sam like a madwoman, you can probably do this. I have no sense whatsoever of what their actual dialogue/context for even talking to each other is except that they both work at McKinley.]
Which, incidentally, what they've promised is that Sam and Rachel are going to sing Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles." SWEET BABY JESUS I'M JUST GOING TO PERISH OF DELIGHT ON THE SPOT before I ever hear it. I love that song. And I'm not even afraid of not liking it as much as the original, because will it have piano? Yes. Will it have Rachel's perfect made-for-covering-radio-songs voice? Yes. But best of all, it will have Sam's voice. Sam, whose wonderful vocals have been wasted OVER and OVER and over again on songs I just cannot stand -- he even got the ONLY boring Beatles song for a solo -- and on songs that I can barely tolerate and then only because he's covering them with Blaine. I would hazard a guess that I have disliked at least 90% of the songs he's been given, which is infinitely frustrating.
But no more. Because "A Thousand Miles" is a song I just love. As much as I think Vanessa Carlton is perfection, I don't care who sings it. I love the lyrics, I love the melody, and I am all up in here to hear some good covers. And even though I just said I don't care who sings it, the fact that it's not being squandered on, like, Puck and Bieste* is the truest blessing of all.
(*yes, I'm still mad about Mean.)
Okay, hold on while I play the song on YouTube -- getting chills from the opening piano notes, nbd.
*20 seconds later*
*pterodactyl victory screech*
Various reactions after listening to song one time:
LEAVE ME TO DIE.GIF
*whimpering noises of adoration*
"NOW KISS" (OH WAIT YOU WILL, HAHAHA!)
"What is Klaine, I do not know Klaine, I was born a Samchel shipper and I shall die on the Samchel battlefield."
tl;dr p.s.: the best part of all this is that as far as I know, I can search the Samchel tag to my heart's content and neatly sidestep all reference to Kurt, Blaine, or the pair together. As if they aren't on the show at all. Which is exactly how I want it. The dying rage noises of the loyal and ever-abused Samcedes shippers -- to whom I am still fully prepared to concede endgame victory if necessary -- are just the icing on the cake.