RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

I finally got smart and picked a notebook to write down all my aired-but-not-viewed/processed episodes in, which I'm keeping by the computer so that my overloaded brain doesn't have to remember such taxing information (I mean, I have since lost it, but I'm sure I'll find it soon). Apparently I went from zero to half a dozen as a result of taking a detour to SVU, so let's get going on those:

NCIS, 12x14, Cadence
It was more enjoyable than I expected to return to Tony's last high school (Honor Code = super creepy!), especially the camaraderie with Ellie there. I also really loved the Gibbs/Jake dinner, and the mention that Abby hangs out with the Bishops all the time. However, I'm going to need someone to stop needling at Jake and Ellie's marriage unless the end result is something like "we decided to adopt a dog/have a baby."
Grade: B

12x15, Cabin Fever
From the moment Fornell got arrested for drunk driving, this episode was a non-stop thrill ride. I always love seeing his daughter run to Uncle Gibbs for help parenting her father. I loved Gibbs bitching at everybody on the team until Ducky finally translated Tony's awkward confrontations -- "he's saying take a breath, Jethro!" But mostly I enjoyed Fornell throwing a tantrum at being kept prisoner in the Makeshift Rehab Center of the Woods (and his complaints that he still takes pain medication for the time Gibbs shot him in the ass), out of the loop until he dries out and meets Gibbs' mysterious conditions for emotional healing. Gibbs is very good at what he does, and always seems to know how to handle other people even when isn't taking care of himself.

I also loved them clueing Ellie (and the slower members of the me) into the fact that Sergei was Ari's half brother, using the coolest descriptions possible. I also loved how they tied him to the twitchy ferret of a diplomat. One thing I did NOT see coming was how they used said diplomat to double cross him and thus prove his non-duplicity to NCIS. Well done! And of course, watching Fornell kill him off once and for all was brilliant, though surprisingly early for such resolution. What are they saving for May sweeps? Making the diplomat a triple agent?

Also I think we all wept at Tobias saving the voicemail for both comfort to hear Diane's voice, and self-torture that he didn't call her back, which would have potentially kept her off that roof.

Grade: A
The Mindy Project, 3x16, Lahiri Family Values
Me halfway through the episode: I just want everyone to know that I am offering to get on board with the baby storyline if it means we can switch locations and fire the rest of the cast. Boom. It's out there. Counter offer?

Update: your offer appears to be "have Mindy ultimately reject the San Francisco practice and decide to open her own practice in New York in the same building as the current office, using Cliff's former space." See, I like how you've brought Cliff into it, but I don't like how heavily this implies she will either go back to her own job after all, or Danny will stay at the practice so I have to continue seeing them engage with the weirdos.

So let's go back to before that awful ending happened and talk about how much more INFINITELY DELIGHTFUL San Francisco is. Dr. Gurglar is everything this show needs: wackiness without being insultingly stupid or gratingly annoying. I loved his excited selling of the new business location, his fretting about the responsibility of taking out a credit loan, and Mindy being offended that the joint loan was denied due to her credit score, as if her score would not be AMAZING with 25 credit cards to her name.

But no, the real reason is due to an unpaid cosigned lease, which means welcome back, little loser brother! I loved her interactions with him, not least how this show keeps reminding us that even though he acts like a stoned idiot 100% of the time, he is actually technically as smart as his sister. (I'm still not clear why he wouldn't pay rent if he had significant income, though -- plot hole much?) I LOVED "Big Murder" turning out to be an impeccably suited-up and mild mannered John Cho, whom I'm choosing to believe is just recycling his corrupt lawyer character from How I Met Your Mother. So civilized! I barely think the drug business is bad at all seeing him. I think we could all identify with Mindy pausing and taking an interested step forward at the prospect of becoming a millionaire for forging a few prescriptions before remembering how that can get you thrown in jail or worse.

I did enjoy Rishi accurately pointing out that Mindy is basically a white guy.

Also, that belted plaid coat (dress?) of hers is either the BEST optical illusion/physically slimming outfit I have ever seen, or Mindy has definitely lost weight, or both, because I could not stop goggling at her amazing waist.

Danny's storyline was almost as much fun, mostly because I was coasting on the possibility that I might really never have to see these people again. I loved how everything Danny said about leaving was so easily misinterpreted as him talking about dying, even though I don't know why anyone still believes anything Morgan says. Much humor, very wonderful. And I will grudgingly admit that the Proud Papa routine he was engaging in at the beginning is pretty much my favorite part of any pregnancy storyline, so there's that. I can't wait for this show to be in syndication. I'm sure everything about this will be so much better

Although my favorite part of the whole episode may have been Danny clapping his hands and urging Mindy to get ready for their quickie "shame wedding."

I am now going to do my best to focus on the wicked gleam of delight in Cliff's eyes as he recognized an opportunity to snark at Danny/casually mess with his head, instead of on my annoyance that Mindy quit her awesome fellowship early. THIS IS ONLY OKAY WHEN PAM BEESLEY DOES IT.

P.S. My new official position on why I am against legalizing non-medicinal marijuana: "Marijuana is the worst. It makes you fat and lazy. Is that what you think America's problem is? Not enough fat and lazy people?"

Grade: A-
(I'm taking points off mainly for her being a pregnant drop-out. That seems like something that would enrage me in reruns.)--------------
3x17, Danny Castellano is My Nutritionist
This episode was totally great until it shot itself in the foot 3 times:
-STOP MAKING CHARACTERS SECRET SMOKERS. IT'S 2015, IT'S GROSS, NOBODY RESPECTABLE DOES IT, and it is in no way a clever or realistic twist to be like, "But what if the person you'd least expect to smoke did?" NO. Shut it down forever.

-This terrible, awful, horrible, unpleasant lump of a new doctor they've just hired. Uch, it's like seeing Toby Flenderson through Michael Scott's eyes. I mean, I'm sure he'll fit in perfectly with this terrible group of awful social rejects. But WHERE IS MY NEW GURGLAR??

-Morning sickness is not an excuse to gleefully show us the visual effects. STOP IT. This is my least favorite part of any pregnancy storyline. As is the part where characters talk about how morning sickness doesn't just occur in the morning. Everyone knows this. There should be a limit that this can only be said twice every five years, once on a cable show and once on a broadcast network show.

Aside from that, I was having a dandy time! I love Totalitarian Danny (side note to feminists: what it looks like when men actually try to control your  body), and Mindy's over the top reactions to incredibly normal foods that I am sure she has eaten at least once in her life, like poultry. Although to her credit, oatmeal is something you should slap your partner for offering when there are so many delicious breakfast foods in the world. It's cheap, so I have trained myself to tolerate it with sufficient addition of sweeteners, but it has an extremely unappetizing appearance.

I laughed at everyone goading Mindy into eating the birthday cake (I don't know why they all looked shocked when she faceplanted ito it), and Danny's "...I was gone for 2 seconds" reaction. Love Peter serving as long distance obstetrician (I like him so much more now that I can't have him!), diagnosing Mindy's pregnancy status as technically "geriatric obesity," to her loud noises of outrage. Also got a giggle out of Mindy hiding a candy bar inside a banana peel...and reluctantly pulling more hidden candy bars out of her sleeves when ordered to surrender the contraband.

Really, I just liked this episode because it was so Danny-and-Mindy focused and so little focused on everyone else.

The ending was unnecessarily sappy-cliche to me (what happened to "don't worry, I will raise this baby on my own" Mindy?), and I'd much rather have the Danny who is the only mature adult in this relationship and 500% confident in his parenting skills than one who's afraid he won't measure up. I also don't like Lame Doctor trying to convince me that Mindy's morning sickness is solely caused by Danny stressing her out and that we should apparently have no problem with her chugging coffee and candy while treating green vegetables like alien matter. What is "compromise?"

Still, much like the one where he was her personal trainer made me committed to extra exercise for like a week, this episode might actually make me think about my diet for a few days, so that's something. Just imagining Danny lurking and waiting to bat unhealthy food out of my hand at any moment might work from a stress aspect.

Other things that made me laugh:
-Tamra shooting Danny with a BB gun after mistaking him for a courtyard bum (with Jeremy ineffectually yelling about not shooting ANYONE). And Mindy telling her to shoot him again as punishment for smoking. (the only positive aspect to that storyline)

-Mindy's terrible salesmanship of the job to Dr. Vanessa Williams. No fair dangling a female doc in front of me and then replacing her with a slug.

-"It's my favorite kind of cake...gigantic."

Grade: B+
2 Broke Girls
And the Crime Ring: let's set aside the disregard for any known sense of logic that would lead you to conclude "breaking and entering" is the better
choice than "call a guy first to see if you can pick up something you left at his place after he's ignored you for two weeks." I got a great kick out of this one! Caroline (illogically) getting stuck in an open window and licked to death by a Rottweiler, Max fleeing the scene at the sound of sirens, and later turning back to help and explaining to the nice officer lady that it was a simple case of Two Week Rule gone wrong ("oh, well why didn't you say so").

I loved Caroline freaking out and fleeing the building, Max chasing after her even though that meant they both were going to get re-arrested, and then my favorite part: the holding cell, with Caroline a shaking wreck and Max just totally chill and looking at home. Never has their vast difference in background life experience been so clear. And really, true friendship is keeping your friend from losing her mind with fear by announcing to the whole cell that you've already claimed her as your bitch. Not there was any fear to begin with, really. These nice ladies spend their free time putting on talent shows, apparently.

Also, I really liked their respective mug shots, from "gangsta thug" to "posing like a model with a million-watt smile."

Finally, I've got to high five Caroline for hooking up with Jesus's doppelganger. When your perspective on morals has been shaped by Max, that kind of thing looks like a good life decision. I'd make it.

Grade: A

And the Knockoff Knock-out: The prissy, spoiled young rich girl and her echo teetered between "delightful" and "annoying" to me (the latter mostly due to how irritating repetition is), but I think they mostly came out weighed in favor of the former. I liked their outrages about the shirts being ripped off, Caroline's empty threats to get a lawyer involved, and how their ultimate and weirdly successful takedown featured Han in disguise, making an impromptu speech to sway the children.

Mostly, though, I'm relieved that his speech about being bullied had nothing to do with Max, so now we can continue with mocking his height and other aspects of physical immaturity to no end, guilt-free. As much as I hate most of the jokes on this show, anything that involves unfairly belittling people pleases me. As always, you can thank Glee's misguided anti-bullying storylines for awakening that particular type of bloodlust.

Grade: A-

And the Great Unwashed: A decent comedic outing, most fun when seeing Caroline go the extra mile because she has a regular customer/someone who finally appreciates her more than they appreciate Max. The home delivery service was adorable, and Derby Hat Nola's quirkiness was pretty fun. I also liked Max trying to make up for Caroline's hurt feelings that no one has bought her print.

Grade: B
Tags: 2 broke girls, ncis, the mindy project, tv commentary

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