Watched some more CBS shows this week, incidentally:
NCIS, 13x01, Stop the Bleeding
Previously on NCIS, I actually remember what happened at the end of the last season without reviewing my old posts. But will I remember what happened in the premiere? It's already kind of fading.
- I one thousand percent do not understand why we're hyping Jon Cryer's appearance like he is anything other than a bad-actor punchline (did people ever once...take him seriously? I've always assumed his Emmy nominations to also be jokes)
- Which is a shame because with a better person I might have liked his surgeon character.
- Enjoyed the continued appearances of Kelly, even though some of the sincerity wears off when you have to keep recasting your long-deceased 8-year-old. It feels too much like watching Mark Harmon act instead of watching Gibbs. But if you focus hard, you get what you need out of it.
- My other favorite part of Gibbs' Ghosts was him muttering "shut up" out loud at Franks, echoing my usual sentiments.
- The appropriate use of a time jump, giving us one act to follow Gibbs through surgery (and his mental wanderings) for closure, and then going "so that was summer."
- I didn't care about rescuing Luke, After the stunts he's pulled, boy is like a dog who's bitten multiple people and cannot be trusted to ever recover honest emotions. I'll shoot him off the ledge myself. That would have been more satisying than Tony casually taking down the Wannabe Bond.
- Although fatally shooting him in the same places Gibbs was shot did feel like a nice bookend.
- I'm intrigued by the hostility in Gibbs brushing off Tony's earnest offer to lend an ear. Poor Tony.
- But I feel like I'd really get a lot more out of this show if I could just marathon it the way I do SVU nowadays, so I could see season-long themes in play in a way I just cannot track across months of time.
Then, I willed myself to sit through NCIS: NOLA instead of escaping to the ease and simplicity of Friends reruns. Yeah, if anyone ever again tries to tell me crime dramas aren't serialized, I'm going to punch them in the throat because I was so lost and confused. I haven't seen this show more than a handful of times since I last wrote about it around Thanksgiving, but here are my thoughts:
2x01, Sic Semper Tyrannis
* BRODY YOUR HAIR. I need a minute to come to terms with the fact that it's now the minimum acceptable length instead of unacceptable, and why I feel weird about that. You're the first woman since Mariska Hargitay on whom I've allowed that, and everyone knows that once a short-haired woman grows it out even a little bit, I violently rebel against ever returning to the old ways. Hope she plans to stay at this level.
* Wait, who is the new chick? I like her right away, and she alone almost makes me want to keep watching just so I can soak up her presence. Her arrival takes away some of the cozy family feel of the team, which previously felt like Dad & his two kids (or rather, son and daughter-in-law from a different son) solving crimes in their backyard, but she's just got such a sharp and sparky personality that I want to see more. Especially of the good-natured hazing she's eager to take on as a challenge, so much gentler than the way the NCIS boys razz probies.
* WHY IS PRIDE'S DIVORCE FINALIZED. WHO ALLOWED THIS.
* Who died last season? Do I know them??
* And what is going to happen with the Secret Photoshopped Photos of Mystery Brody's received?
For all that I loved, my attention was definitely about gone 20 minutes in, and I was about to bail. But then I heard "The opposition is rising. The stars and stripes will burn. And out of its ashes will manifest a revolution," which sounded so much like line straight out of Revolution ("a member of the Free State Nation" COME ON) that I snapped to attention. And lo and behold, from the moment Pride went undercover in a dive bar, it was totally like being transported into a Revolution AU, only one where we were supposed to see the Patriots as the good guys. And it was real hard to remember whose side I was supposed to be on when the bullets started flying.
Didn't stop it from being AMAZING though (I like the overeager blonde kid - reminds me of Spencer on Survivor this season), especially when they revealed the skeletal corpose of The Father, and it turned out, "Revolutions have mothers, too."
Color me intrigued for a season-long arc about Pride being identified by face if not name as an imposter among the remnants of the rebel group. If I can hold off on my inherent "oh god NCIS was SO LONG, I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH TV" feelings, I might even keep watching this season.
Finally: it has been almost 2 years since I last watched Hawaii Five-0. The last one I saw involved finding a lost treasure. So you bet your bottom dolalr that when Jorge Garcia showed up on my TV again with talk of pirates and "X marks the spot," I was like HELL YEAH, SIGN ME UP.
And when the episode opens with an extended Old Timey Pirates of the Pacific flashback, better than anything I ever dreamed it would be, my eyes GLITTERED LIKE A THOUSAND DISCO BALLS.
But before most of that storyline happens, I get thrown into a confusing, churning storm of Happenings with no bearing whatsoever. First of all, apparently Kono and that charming dude (previously referred to as "sketchy dude" a.k.a. Adam), whom I last saw on the run together in a jungle somewhere, have gotten married! They had a really lovely wedding they apparently got through unscathed, followed by a whole picture-perfect reception, complete with lovely dancing and a lovelier wedding singer doing "We are family! I got my ohana and me!"
Since this happens in the opening act, you should in fact be very suspicious as to why, but I'm old and dumb and I thought nothing of it, not even after we revisited them on the first morning of Married Life still all smiley and happy.
And then it was like, "Ding-dong! Hope the wedding night was awesome because GUESS WHAT, TIME FOR YOUR HONEYMOON TORTURE FEST."
What! Why! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. Not even enough to bang him up, you had to go there, with the dental trauma, for Kono? NO. WHY.
(Side note: apparently somewhere along the way -- possibly when I saw her looking like the happiest, sweetest, most contented bride ever -- I decided I totally love Kono after all.)
Second of all, I guess Catherine left at some point between the one time I saw her and now? And at some other point Steve caught feelings bad enough that he wants to propose to her?? OK, not that I'm arguing this, especially not when it leads to Danny getting all giddy about it and/or trying to get Steve to admit to being scared of getting hurt again, but last time I saw them they looked like friends with benefits. I think they were actually dating, but they had a real strong just-friends-with-compatible-physical-ch
I JUST CAME FOR PIRATE TREASURE. WHY ARE YOU INFLICTING THESE COMPLICATED EMOTIONAL SITUATIONS ON MY HEART.
(I will say I like her a lot more now than ever before, though. That was a real magic reception kiss. And a charming fully-clothed morning scene.)
Fortunately, the pirate treasure story was completely fantastic*, even though it was described as "mere legend," with no verifiable records because Hawaii apparently didn't have paper or any other way of recording notable events with loads of witnesses in the 1880s. (I don't even know if that's a facetious statement. My knowledge about Hawaii's history is literaly "it became a state in 1959" and "I think it had a queen at some point?")
We have stolen paintings that might be maps, or clues, or have clues hidden in the frame; we have a writer murdered for seeking information; there's even a Discovered Skeleton of a Long Lost Missing Person out in the wilds, which is the best kind of corpse for a crime show. It's everything wonderful in all the land...
*Until it ended up being...a really incredibly disappointing hoax drummed up by a conman to gain fame and maybe fortune. COME ON, SHOW. You're telling me you think they can solve a 150-year-old missing-treasure mystery in a matter of days, but finding a second one stretched the boundaries of credibility? As poignant as it was to talk about how "a lot of people died for nothing," you should at least give us a gilmmer of a clue that 5-0 just overlooked where some real treasure actually was buried, even if Hoax Pirate didn't know about it.
I guess by that point I was supposed to go back and focus on Kono's storyline, which I'll grant you was some amazing torturer-stabbing, bank-shootout-ing, bleeding-out-stopping heroics capped off by an almost laughable call to Chin, who is so blissfully unaware of the bloody festivities of the past 12 hours while he's been running around searching for buried treasure that his first question is "Why are you calling me on your honeymoon?"
(OH, NO REASON. Just watched my husband get beaten up, got a tooth ripped out with pliers, watched our life savings disappear and with it freedom from being on a hit list, and am currently sitting in the ICU to see if said husband survives getting gutshot. Little stuff like that.)
I really did love the supportive hug at the hospital (I want to see all of the important cousin scenes; their bond suddenly strikes me as fantastic), followed by the team hug. I feel like...I almost want to keep watching this season, since it's airing on empty Friday nights, to see how wriggles out of that whole owned-by-the-Yakuza-and-now-totally-brok