*that said I cannot stop laughing at "NBD, just gonna FILL MY DEAD FATHER'S BODY WITH ROCKS AND THEN SEW HIM BACK UP. It's okay because my hot boyfriend is here to help me and now we can run away together all romantic-like."
I still secretly rooted for Henry to be the champion of her heart, by the way. They did so wrong by him.
P.S. I'm so happy I decided to watch the deleted scenes:
[Stuck some feathers in his cap / and then RS died laughing.]
YOU'RE WELCOME, EARTH.
Survivor, week 2: HOLY COW. Two weeks and 2 of the 3 people I hate are out. Is this real life?? Although I must admit it doesn't sit right with me that Shirin ultimately got kicked out for failing to grovel at the spoiled brat's feet. When Terry was giving his pretentious "that's not how you treat people" speech about why he reached out to Abi when she was crying alone on the beach, I definitely felt echoes of this quote on season 2 of Community:
"He's a jerk because we exclude him."
"We exclude him because he's a jerk."
I think we all know which sentence is more accurate. And when you run around biting people for no reason, it is entirely appropriate to laugh at that person until they cry, especially after confronting them head-on does nothing to increase their self-awareness.
In less exciting news, I just want to bury my head in my arms every time Stephen shows up screen looking like a doofus. It's like talking up your high school crush to someone as you're planning to introduce them and then going, "Oh no. Oh, this is bad. NO DON'T LOOK. FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID." (but then you look back at your yearbook and you're like "what the hell you WERE as good as I remember. What happened.")
In more exciting news, my leftover crush feelings had to go somewhere so it appears I have finally fallen under Joe's spell. He is very dreamy and he can do everything, including make a bunch of hammocks out of fishing nets. This is doing nothing to combat my urge to imagine a beach-read novel in which a guy like him & a girl like Jenn, lifelong friends, work beach jobs along with there-for-the-summer newcomer "Hailey," who immediately hits it off with both but sets her eye on the former, gobsmacked that not!Jenn has neither a past with him nor any interest in hitting that, while not!Jenn's like, "whatever, so not type, and also ew it'd be like dating my brother." I know what both of those mindsets feel like now.)
I also have immense admiration for Savage for crying as soon as he talked about his wife. That does not sound like the beginning of a great romance as opposed to romance novel ("lawyer meets hot international model, marries 3 months later"), but I guess if they have two teen girls at this point and are still together, it is.
Good to see that Jeremy can still cry at the drop of a hat over his wife, too. That's the whole reason I started liking him in the first place.
Also crying: Spencer, at the thought of going home second after how hard he's been fighting to repeat the last round's underdog comeback. Aww. Even if you did it to yourself.
Lastly, Woo flat-out telling Shirin "thanks but nah" in response to her plea to work with her now that she's desperate even though she's literally had zero conversations with him...was refreshingly direct on a show where people usually at least pretend what you're saying is sound.
Edit: Apparently Shirin has a lot of insight on the fact that there were multiple factors at play:
After Vytas was voted out, Jeff told me that he wanted to vote out Spencer, so the two people who were being talked about being on the chopping block were Spencer and Abi, because nobody could stand living with Abi. And so, I just felt like my alliance was being turned on, so I tried turning it on Jeff. I went behind his back and worked on getting people to vote him out, but they all had his back and wanted to continue working with him, even though he had screwed a lot of them over in the first vote, and they ratted me out. He decided to get me out because he knew at that point I was gunning for him. He decided to take out a threat.
Dear women: be more visible. The only ones standing out in a good way at all right now are the Kellys. The original because she just seems so happy to be here and she's such an iconic legend in my heart that it's like having a real celebrity in the game*, and the latter because everything she wears is adorable, and so is her excitement and pride over nabbing the immunity idol.
[Edit: Shirin says she was miserable to be around, stuck up and only willing to talk to Old School. On the other hand, Shirin is saying this. What should I believe?]
Criminal Minds season 11 premiere: What...even was that weird repilot mess in the first 15 minutes? Did they assume a bunch of new Aisha Tyler fans who don't know what the show is about would suddenly start watching it and be in need of guidance?
It might have made sense if we were introduced to Lewis in the opening scene and we walked through the case from the perspective of someone who knows about pyschopaths but has no firsthand experience in how the BAU team operates, but this way was just awkward. I got so bored I walked away and pretty much missed the JJ/baby scene, which is a shame because apparently she was really pregnant (the actress) and that's her actual kid.
It's been 24 hours and I already don't remember what the case was about, except something about a hitman killing people who hired him because...one of them hired a second hitman to kill him? But why? I only really remember the faces painted white and black to symbolize Old Timey Mimes.
Also, hell to the no on Aisha Tyler ["Dr. Tara Lewis"] if the top of her head is going to look like that. That's worse than short hair. That's...I don't even know what to call that except that it comes in silvery white on Neopets:
I declined to watch Code Black because I was coming up on 34 hours of being awake and I was in no mood to suffer longer. I mean I tried, but I only made it to the first commercial break because between the sea of boring faces and the copiously gushing blood at that point, I'd seen all I needed to see to conclude I'm fine with being out of the emergency medicine game for a while.