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Stupid dog.

Doesn't so much as sniff in the general direction of the fresh-baked pie so long as people are milling about downstairs.  The moment one goes upstairs and the other goes outside, however (the second person having foolishly left it sitting atop the stove), she takes advantage of the deserted rooms and proceeds to gorge herself on rhubarb pie until she's sick.

Apparently we get complacent, given that she never begs for food except to strategically position herself flat on the floor beside the table during mealtimes, but Kym will always take advantage of any unguarded food, wrappers, or dirty dishes within her reach if she can get away with it unseen.  Admittedly, it's been quite while since she got into something that big, but still. 

On a more positive note, T minus 4 hours until Pirates!  Is Elizabeth less rampantly horny in this one?  Because that was one of the things I most hated about Dead Man's Chest.  I remember sitting in the theater, silently flailing OMG KIDS' MOVIE STOP MENTIONING WEDDING NIGHTS! 

'July 30, 2006

FINALLY got to see Pirates 2, yay!

The soundtrack is a brilliant as the first movie.  Must acquire with all possible haste, by which I mean Christmas.  For overall impression of the film itself, my brother said “it was good, but there was more action and less ‘story’” than the first one.  I kind of agree.  The final scene with Black Pearl vs. Flying Dutchman went on for...well, I had no watch, but I would guess a good 20 minutes.  It was exhausting watching.  Worse than Two Towers.  WORSE THAN LORD OF THE RINGS, PEOPLE.  That is hard to do.

See, I have no problem at all with long movies (3 hours?  Bring it on!), unless the length is taken up with fighting and killing and explosions instead of characters saying or doing anything meaningful.  In that case, I require a fast-forwarding and/or scene-skip option.  Also, I didn’t think I would ever get tired of the repeated jokes from movie 1, because they really were quite funny ("hide the rum"), but by the last half hour…I was going, “Okay.  Enough.  I get it.”

I wish Keira Knightley was not among my blacklisted actresses, because she is so pretty in this film, especially her long, loose, gorgeous hair.  However, severe vexation and disgust over her nude Vanity Fair cover prevents me from saying anything completely positive about her.  Because that was really quite unnecessary.  It is not artistic, no matter what you say.

Continuing in random spits and spats:

*The eyes painted on Jack’s eyelids.  You’ve seen them.  They’re completely awesome. 

*Octopus Face (“Davey Jones”) is neither better nor worse than Captain Barbossa as a villain…well, maybe a little worse…however, the half-ocean-creature villain crew is better than CGI skeletons; they look more
realistic. 

*Almost every character from the first movie came back for the second, except for the one I was most looking forward to – Ana Maria.  Boo. 

*"Look - an undead monkey!"  HEE. 

*Ooh, nobody told me there would be Will torture involved!  A good old fashioned lashing.  I HIGHLY approve.  Which sounds slightly perverted, in retrospect, but...I don't know, I can't explain it.  Injured characters = good.  This sets up the future tracing of faded scars along his back, which is quite possibly my favorite fanfic scenario ever.

*The whole thing with Elizabeth using strings to fly her discarded dress around the ship she stowed away on, making it look like a ghost, WITH “Tortuga” written in flames…that was the coolest thing ever. 

*Am in love with the jail scene.  Love love love!  Except for the last line, which is said quietly but causes her father to choke and randomly break something.   Because DIRTY!  Which is not allowed!  They're a Disney fairy tale romance no matter what their surroundings say, and as such are not allowed to be anything but pure and innocent!

*Am also in love with the kiss on the beach, in which Will quite inadvertently rubs it in that Elizabeth picked HIM. Say whatever you want about the chest of Davey Jones, I think jealousy was a major impetus for a lot of the 3-way sword fight that follows shortly after. 

*AM NOT IN LOVE WITH THE JACK/ELIZABETH.  WTH was that?!  I mean, I was spoiled beforehand, but still.  For reasons I cannot recall, after much meaningful gazing, Elizabeth is suddenly tonguing Jack, who has precisely zero qualms about reciprocating.  They make out for eleventy billion years, and of course, as Will comes back up to grab something, just his head over the side, he catches a glimpse of the pair. AW.  POOR THING.

Okay, so maybe she's a bit legitimately attracted to Jack
(well heck – aren't you?), is *technically* using the kiss as a distraction to back him against the mast and snap a shackle around his wrist.  
[July 2007 note: And clearly, I had already blocked from memory the part early on where she all but begs him to kiss her and sounds bitterly disappointed when he pulls back, along with the part where she leans in after chaining him like she wants to kiss him again.  Because it was JUST THAT WRONG.  I still do not understand fandom's predilection for this pairing, anyway.  Did you people want Jasmine to dump Aladdin and hook up with Jafar, too?] 

Shame Will doesn't know that, and we don't get to see them have it out because while Elizabeth is oblivious to the sidelong looks he keeps shooting her, our last real dialogue is of the Voodoo Lady rambling
“what would you do to save Jack? Go to the ends of the earth?” and blah blah blah, we will have to save the Turner-Swann drama for another day, I guess.  Good, it can simmer a while before it blows up.  That will make resolution even better.  Just like Charlie’s secret heroin stash on the Lost island.  I have faith that all will turn out well in the end.
[July 2007 note: Crap, and how did that turn out in the end again...?]

Lastly, so you do not have to sit through ten minutes of credits – although, keep reminding yourself that people pay good money just to sit and listen to professional people play music like this, i.e. Minnesota Orchestra – the last scene is of the key-holding dog, who got left behind on the island full of cannibals, sitting on Jack’s vacated throne with a large bone stuffed on his mouth, watching with interest as the natives dance around him.  Apparently he’s their new god.  (not sure what that means in terms of canine survival, though, as the approach to the last god was to honor him by cooking and eating him…)

Final concensus on the semi-cliffhanger ending: I'm not going to complain, because I like that it's a trilogy, but the problem is that it's not *really* a 3-part trilogy.  The first movie stands alone.  I kind of wish the 2nd and 3rd had also been stand-alone sequels instead of being so dependent upon one another.  No, scratch that.  I REALLY wish they had been stand-alone sequels.  I mean, would that have been so hard?

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