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Zoo 2.09, “Sins of the Father”
Sins of the showrunners, more like.


A Plot
I cannot believe you killed Elizabeth. More specifically, I cannot believe you made Jackson shoot his own mother. THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is so much more trauma than Jamie had to endure, and he still has no one to hug him. Now I am forced to hope that Jamie and Jackson drown their mutual sorrows in each other. I will throw my strong belief in their “sibling chemistry” right out the window just to stop the hurting for a moment.

If you need me, I’ll be over here weeping at how soft and gentle his voice was in trying to reason with his monster-mom, and what a GOOD GOOD BOND THAT WAS (never mind that super extra sad backstory about how she took Wee Traumatized Abraham under her wing as a second son from the get-go) and why would you take it all away. I know Dr. Oz is a bad dude, okay. This fact was never in doubt.

Abe could also use a hug. Being responsible for the loss of your surrogate mother and costing you your surrogate brother?  That is a lot of guilt to carry around, poor man. I do not think Dariela can fill this gap.

B Plot
This started out so well, it’s not fair. When I saw the sneak peek of the conversation about the snake-hyena-bear-lion bones, I thought, “This is a good sign! If they’re talking about starting over at the beginning, then it must mean they’ll revisit this conversation at the end with a different outcome.” I was also hopeful that Jamie didn’t seem that relieved to be given an out, even if Mitch looked disappointed. Like maybe she needed to be confronted with the actual possibility of him closing that door before she realized she wanted him to wait.

Then, there was Mitch’s hatred for his father, which was like his Logan hate on steroids (due to unfortunately similar reasons no I’m not there yet). His constant crabby comments to prevent his father from perving on Jamie were glorious. As were all of his crabby comments on everything his father did or said, while Jamie just hung out awkwardly in the background of this family drama like “wow it’s not even Thanksgiving.”

I loved that Max did not end up twitterpating Jamie (she of the Terrible Man Instincts), and that he ended up secretly being our Ship Knight In Shining Armor by being the first person to pick up on her feelings (“I think you love my son” WHAAAAAAAAT? Seriously, what did he see in this episode to make him think that. FIC PROMPT?), and even accidentally became the actual catalyst of getting them to talk.

I can’t believe they were actually willing to write Jamie going to Mitch’s room. Even when I was scratching up fanciful fanfic ideas a few hours before this aired, I didn’t think I could believably get her to talk to him in any setting more intimate than the couches on a deserted upper level. But no. ONE JIG to the right, and I’m pretty sure Mitch would have ended this episode making out with somebody either way. (FIC PROMPT #2?? Hang on Imma make a new post about that)

Edit: oh gosh, I just realized. Jamie was bringing that martini for Mitch, wasn’t she? In reference to his earlier claim that someone owed him one? Now I’m even sadder.

That’s as far I can go before this turns into a different plot, so we’ll be right back after these brief messages.

C Plot
The only part of this I liked was all the beautiful horses galloping about and doing their beautiful trick horse horse tricks all over the place. After that lovely Original Team world of last week, and with me hurting on all ship fronts, Dariela’s gonna have to earn her Outsider butt back into my heart all over again.

F Plot
MY SHIP’S BEEN HIT. SHIP DOWN, REPEAT, SHIP DOWN. SEND ASSISTANCE.

Gavomiting is not a strong enough word for how I feel about where the Mitch/Allison went in this one. When you’re supposed to be the Piner, it feels like cheating to accept someone else, regardless of reason, OK? And I am not in a great place re: cheating. NCIS is already like getting beaten up on the regular. I can’t handle more.

Like do you have ANY idea how hard it is to ruin a Billy Burke kissing scene for me? It’s hard. Even “Drive Angry” barely managed it and there he was a homicidal cult leader.

Honestly, I was already rioting just when they admitted Mitch and Allison were exes; I never dreamed they would actually go there in the present day. I was hopelessly naive and thought they were going to use that as Jamie’s lead-in to a conversation, where for once she sought HIM out at the end of the episode and was the one prodding the talking.

So, I’m upset. Mostly I’m upset because the episode summary for next week has Mitch and Jamie in separate places, but the episode summary for episode ELEVEN has them in the same place as an “animal attack.” Earlier today I was all excited, with visions of leopards dancing in my head and how beneficial that scenario was for forward progress on their relationship/protective positioning and whatnot last year, and now I just don’t see how that’s possible.

God, now I think I’m hoping Allison dies. We had to sacrifice a woman on Revolution to get Miles back to the one he belonged with, and so help me I will VOTE FOR IT AGAIN.

P.S. I don’t know how old this show thinks Mitch is, but last I checked, Burke was pushing 50. Regardless, if he’s yelping about “cradle robbing” then he and Allison were not exactly contemporaries 12 years ago, and now I need to know what it was about Allison that caught Mitch’s attention and whether it takes away from what Jamie brings, because otherwise I am feeling some real uncomfortable parallels that are ruining the thing that delights me about age-mismatched relationships. Namely, that the older partner only gets one.

edited to add a Tumblr note: kateschechterxthorwasmyfirstotp said: I am guessing that Mitch and Allison are supposed to be similar in age, and Mitch is younger than Billy, but still likely a good 10-15 years older than 26-27 year old Jamie. But Jamie seems to have a pattern of older guys too - Ethan was her superior at the Telegraph.

I still think there's an 8-10 year gap between Mitch & Allison, which would have been more significant 12 years ago, but the second part is an interesting note. (that said: dammit I will cling to my pilot impressions forever: "20-odd years his junior and cheerfully un-bothered by whether he likes her or not." Like I am firmly in camp Age 24 and 45, respectively, and I don't know why I would want that -- especially as I've had like 2938723 ships with an age difference of exactly 14 years, I would love to add another trophy to that list, and it's straight up creepy when a guy's daughter is closer to your age than you are to his -- but that idea is really planted deep. Maybe it is because I also immediately likened them them to Doctor/Rose? Does the age gap between Rose and David Tennant fall closer to 15 years or 20?)

IN CONCLUSION

OK, show. You owe me a fucking SPECTACULAR ship blowout full of fireworks and feelings (tears, near-dying would help) to even BEGIN to make up for this betrayal, or so help me you are headed for the firing squad that I put Under the Dome through in ITS third season after it went from being my favorite show to something I refused to watch within 5 episodes of poisoning my OTP.

That’s right, I can suffer Chloe dying, but I cannot and will not abide by skanky affairs. I have fired so many shows for doing unforgivable things to my OTP it’s not even funny, but I am a feeble fandom senior and my heart is too damaged from years of abuse to come back from obstacles anymore.

FIX THIS. My chill is non-existent.
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Special LJ Backdated Post Bonus Edit: Because I couldn't fit it organically into my review without messing up the flow, I sent out a call for fix-it fic, AND MY HOMIES DELIVERED. I've spent literal years throwing "we need fic of X" comments out into the world in my reviews just to make myself feel better, it is so weird and good to see it actually happen. I have only read the first one, but these links are here to remind myself to get on that within 48 hours.

Option 1
Option 2 (on a blog currently titled "snake-hyena-bear-lion" which is MY NEW FAVORITE IN-JOKE)
Option 3, which was not in response to me but serves the same purpose

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